I See a Desperate Man Wearing a Beautiful Mask
by caggiewrites
Summary: Clarke Griffin has just started college and is ready to party and study hard! But mostly study. Yet the people in her life seem hell bent on making sure she does anything but, and it is ironic that Octavia is the one who wants Clarke to loosen up the most, while the main reason Clarke can't is because of her roommate's older brother: Bellamy Blake. But is that such a bad thing?
1. The Calm Before The Storm

**Welcome to my new Bellarke fic! If you're here then you love the 100 and bellarke and so do I so we are instantly compatible. My name is Caragon but I go by Caggie or Cara so take your pick.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of The 100 characters or ideas. Damn it.**

Chapter One

**_The Calm Before the Storm_**

_by caggiewrites_

Clarke had instantly been opposed to the opening of her dorm room to the "Around the World" freshers theme. By the time her roommate Octavia had persuaded her to do it, however, she discovered that the brunette had already bagged the United Kingdom as soon as the whole charade began.

"So, the whole asking my permission was just you attempting to be polite?" Clarke asked with mock annoyance.

Lounging on her bed, Octavia looked up with a grin, "Did it work?"

Clarke sighed, but she was unable to hide her smile. Returning to her textbook, she marvelled – not for the first time since meeting her – how close she was to Octavia Blake considering how long they'd known each other. Only the day after Clarke had received the simple name of her roommate, Octavia had contacted her insisting they meet. Clarke was sceptical at first but Octavia was very excitable and her mother Abby insisted she go. After a day of browsing for furniture to make their dorm look as good and co-ordinated as possible ("Of course it's necessary, Clarke!") and laughing so much they were sure they'd gained six packs, Clarke and Octavia had felt like they had been friends for more like six years than six hours. Cliché, but true.

Just then, Clarke was distracted by Octavia twisting her body in a painful position to locate something under her bed.

"What in god's name are you doing?"

"Well," Octavia said, her voice strained from her position. "I knew I'd persuade-"

"Bully." Clarke corrected.

Octavia ignored this, "_Persuade _you to do the whole 'Around the world' thing, so I brought provisions days ago."

Clarke gasped, "Octavia! What have you done?"

As if to answer her question, with one last heave, Octavia pulled two stuffed carrier bags from underneath the bed and straightened up, her face the picture of glee. Out of the bags tumbled a Union Jack explosion and Clarke groaned, getting up to inspect further.

"What _is _all this stuff?" Clarke said, pulling bits of triangle flags on string out of the bag.

"That's bunting, dummy." Octavia replied, rolling her eyes.

"Ohhhhhkay," Clarke pushed the bunting back in the bag. "I can't believe I'm about to say this but how much did this crap cost you? I'll pay half _even _though I really despise the whole thing."

"Gee, _thanks_, Saint Clarke," She said, getting off the bed and pulling the decorations with her. "But my brother paid for this, you and I don't pay a cent."

Clarke scoffed, "Still wrapped around your little finger?" Octavia flashed a smile. "You make him out to sound like a stud one day and a teddy bear the next."

Octavia climbed a chair, carrying the vivid bunting with her, "He's both."

Clarke turned away, not in the mood right now (would she ever?) to turn their room into a British Aladdin's cave, "A teddy bear in a leather jacket."

Four hours later, the afternoon had gotten steadily darker and proclaimed itself evening and the campus dorms had gotten decidedly busier as girls rushed around decorating their rooms. "Around the world" happened to be an open doors event (Clarke preferred her doors firmly shut), where people went from room to room as they pleased to mingle and each room had a different country's theme. Octavia informed her that doors "officially opened" at 8pm and after that could be shut whenever you'd had enough. Clarke had barely even conjured the thought of shutting their door at 8:15pm when Octavia shut that idea down ("We are going to paaaaaaaaarty, Clarke Griffin, I know you know how!"). This is how she found herself sticking a whopping great big sign covered in the British flag bearing 'OCTAVIA AND CLARKE'S BRITISH HAVEN' (which Clarke had sniggered at incessantly until Octavia's well aimed hairbrush found its mark on her head) on their dorm door.

The door next to her opened, revealing their 'neighbour': a scantily clad Raven Reyes decked in Rio de Janeiro attire.

"Brazil," Clarke commented unnecessarily as greeting to her.

"Oh yeah," Raven nodded, her eyes finding the sign Clarke was sticking up. "British haven?"

Clarke gave Raven a look, "Octavia. Hopefully it's enough to keep people out."

Raven laughed knowingly, "Come on, Clarke! I swear I've only seen you let your hair down _once _since we've been here and that, whilst hilarious, was you, me, Octavia, Monty and Jasper doing shots in our dorm room."

"I like to have fun! But this isn't my thing," Clarke nodded at Raven's outfit. "I'm kind of surprised it's yours."

"Oh sure!" She pulled a face. "Okay, no, but Munroe's been weirdly psyched about it and it got sort contagious." She grinned. "Speak of the devil!"

Munroe had just hurried up, looking flushed but excited, a bottle of who knows what in her hand, "Hey, Clarke! I'm glad you and Octavia are joining in, we are going to have the two best rooms in our corridor at _least_."

Clarke laughed, "As they say in Brazil… What is it they say in Brazil?"

Raven followed Munroe into their room, but not before turning around, "They say 'Come to Brazil'!"

"Of course," Clarke muttered to the shut door and vacated back into her own room. Seeing it several times did not help to ease the pain it caused Clarke's eyes.

It was as though a hundred champions of eating contests had stuffed themselves with Great Britain merchandise and puked it all over Clarke and Octavia's room. In the midst of the chaos, Octavia, sitting on the floor engrossed in her phone. When the door slammed, she jumped up and immediately looked guilty.

"You okay, Tavia?" Clarke narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Who are you talking to?"

"Awesome, thanks, Clarke, and no one, thanks Cl-" Octavia began but cut off with a yelp as Clarke ran at her in a bid for the phone.

Tackling her to the floor, Clarke made a grab for Octavia's mobile clenched in her fist, "No one! Okay, okay, sure! Just let me _see_-"

"Clarke, get off!" Octavia screeched.

Prizing her roommate's fist open, Clarke grabbed at the mobile and rolled away from Octavia, who came up to grab Clarke's waist in attempt to slow the actions of Clarke unlocking the phone easily.

"Ah, text messages!" Clarke laughed.

With a final squeal from Octavia, Clarke glimpsed the screen and almost barked a laugh.

"Aw, Tavia! Why did you think you had to hide this from me?" Clarke slumped on the floor, giggling.

Octavia sank on the floor next to her, "I hate you. Really. I'm moving out, I deserve privacy. And non tackling rights." She held up a finger to illustrate her mock sincerity.

"You do that, I-" The phone buzzed. "Well, look here!" Clarke leaped up and out of Octavia's reach again.

**LINCOLN**

As Octavia began to pursue, it immediately began ringing and it was Clarke's turn to adopt Octavia's usual evil grin. She pressed 'Answer' immediately, stupidly assuming it was Lincoln, the (dreamy) older boy that Octavia had met a few weeks ago and crushing on like a lost puppy ever since.

"Nice to finally talk to you, Mr Lincoln!" Clarke put on a deep voice.

Needless to say it wasn't Lincoln.

A real deep voice replied, "Lincoln? Seriously? Is this you, Octavia?"

Clarke froze, her eyes rounded in panic, and she whirled around to face Octavia who was mouthing furiously at her, "Who? _Who is it? _Lincoln?"

Pulling a face at Octavia, Clarke opted for a light tone to contrast the extremely pissed off one at the other end of the line, "Um, correct, this isn't Octavia. Who's speaking?"

Octavia shot daggers at Clarke, "Who are you talking to? If that's my brother and you've said-"

But the voice on the phone spoke over his sister.

"I'm Bellamy Blake. Who the hell are you?"

**Hey, guys! If you're reading this you took the time to read the sample chapter of my new Bellarke story and I can't thank you ENOUGH. Please, please, please review and comment to let me know if you want me to keep writing. I plan for this to be a multi chapter including all your favourite characters from The 100 (BEST SHOW EVER) and lots of Bellarke development and most importantly - angst! (I took the idea of "Around the world" from the TV show Veronica Mars series 3 as this takes place at Veronica's campus dorms! Clarke and Octavia chose the UK because that is where I am from and it's easy to make fun of my own country)**

**Stay beautiful,**

**Caragon x**


	2. Big Parties Are So Intimate

**Hello again! I was too excited to wait much longer to post chapter two so here you are. Thank you so much for favouriting/following my story already! **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The 100, its characters or ideas. Although I wished on a shooting star really hard for it once. **

Chapter Two

Big Parties Are So Intimate

_By caggiewrites_

Clarke had two immediate thoughts upon hearing Bellamy Blake's question. First, was that his voice was decidedly delicious (Octavia would puke) but most importantly, second being _oh my god what an asshole. _Unless it was just that nobody had told Clarke all these years that she had an extremely menacing voice on the phone, she was fairly certain she did not sound threatening enough to warrant Bellamy's tone of voice.

Therefore in a less than impressed manner, Clarke replied, "My name is Clarke Griffin, I'm Octavia's roommate." A '_duh_' was implied at the end of her sentence.

If Clarke had been expecting apologetic, she would have been disappointed.

"Okay, Clarke Griffin. Why did you answer my sister's phone?" Bellamy asked sourly.

"I…" Clarke faltered, looking at the sister in question who had been silently biting her lip. As their eyes met, Octavia began signalling clear _I'm not here! _signs, waving her arms in the air dramatically. "She's, uh… in the shower."

"Do you make a habit of answering people's phones for them just because they're not there?" He said in the same irritated tone.

Clarke pulled a disgusted face at Octavia who held up her hands in a _You brought this on yourself _gesture. She didn't know it was possible to dislike someone so much just by the sound of their _voice_, however gorgeous it was. Irritated herself, she said smartly, "No. But Octavia once told me how antsy you get when you can't contact her."

Bellamy scoffed and muttered something unintelligible, "Well, isn't that nice? You girls having cosy chats about your families in your cosy cutesy dorm room."

Clarke put a hand on her hip, her face quickly portraying to Octavia how pissed off she was. Who the hell was this twenty-something year old man to be so rude to his sister's roommate for no particular reason? "That bad, huh?" She said, not bothering to disguise her tone.

"What?" Bellamy snapped.

"That bad of a day for you to be such a dick to someone you don't even know. Or is this cheerful for you?" Clarke replied.

There was a pause, long enough for the feeling of guilt to start building over her outburst.

Not for long, though.

"I am _sorry_, your highness. I'm sure you're used to respect from everyone at court, hm, Princess?" He eventually spat, and Clarke's guilt vanished, her mouth dropping open in disgust. "Just tell Octavia I called." And just like that, he clicked off and the line was dead.

An uneasy silence hung over their room, and Octavia watched Clarke's face, waiting for a reaction. Which arrived about 3.5 seconds later.

"Oh my _god_!" Clarke threw Octavia's phone on the bed and her hands up. "I am really sorry, Octavia, but I am about to bitch about the man who practically raised you!"

Octavia sat down on her bed, crossing her legs underneath her, "C'mon, Clarke, he's not _that _bad."

Clarke scoffed, "Pssh! You're blinded by love. I mean, what is his problem?" She had begun to pace, but stopped once she realised how worked up she was getting about a thirty second phone call with Octavia's grumpy brother. Speaking of, Octavia was smirking.

"What now?" Clarke said, letting out a long breath.

"Absolutely nothing," Octavia continued to grin.

Clarke raised her eyebrows, "Your face is selling you out, Blake."

Octavia shrugged dramatically, "Whatever! Besides, you think you had it bad? _You _just sold me out with the whole _Nice to meet you, Mr Lincoln_ stupidity."

Clarke went to sit next to her friend, "Bellamy doesn't like Lincoln?" She said, trying to ignore the lingering annoyance she felt when saying his name.

"Huh!" Octavia snorted. "Never even met him, but he hates him. It's because he's older, and male, and strong, oh and seriously good looking, I mean his face-"

"Whoa, whoa," Clarke interrupted, laughing at the look on Octavia's face. "Is this reasons your brother doesn't like Lincoln or reasons you do?"

Elbowing Clarke in the ribs, Octavia ignored her, "I had a point."

"Dying to hear it."

"Since you dumped me in it, you now owe me." Octavia's wicked glint in her eye was back.

Clarke gave Octavia her severest warning look, "My answer is no, I can tell."

Without answering her, Octavia jumped up and went to her closet, where she rifled through until she pulled out two identical outfits. Clarke groaned as she looked at them, knowing her fate. They were two mini dresses emblazoned with the Union Jack, exactly like Ginger Spice's signature outfit in her Spice Girls days. Octavia was beaming so much it looked like it hurt her face.

"One for me, and one for you!" She threw a dress at Clarke's face.

Holding it up in front of her, Clarke groaned again, "You brought these monstrosities, are you kidding?"

"Bank of Bellamy," Octavia chimed.

"I hate them even more," Clarke deadpanned.

"Awww, Clarke! I promised everyone you know photos, and I intend to deliver." Octavia waltzed around their room with the dress (probably pretending it was Lincoln), humming to herself.

Sighing, Clarke steeled herself for a night of her own personal hell.

8pm had come and gone, and the 'Around the world' fiasco was well under way. Clarke had successfully been bullied into socializing with 11 different people she didn't care about so far, most of them obnoxious or nervous guys – there was no in between. As if that wasn't bad enough, the Ginger Spice dress Octavia had brought was so tight she felt like she was wearing a corset, and kept checking herself because she felt so exposed. Octavia had squealed like a piglet when Clarke had changed into it, and dived into doing their matching make up. She was good, and it looked pretty, but it also put Clarke six billion miles out of her comfort zone. To add to the palaver, Octavia had insisted on a photo shoot along with Raven and Monroe before they got drunk and didn't look as pristine; and knowing how hooked up their friend Jasper Jordan was with social media, the photos would be everywhere tomorrow. As a cherry on top, Clarke's levels of lame sky rocketed when she received a text from her mom around half 7 reading:

**_Have fun tonight, honey! Don't be so shy and try to loosen up. I know you really care about studying as a top priority and of course so do I but this is college and I want you to be a wacky teenager at least once! Love you, mom x_**

Eh, she tried. Side note, why was her mom communicating with Octavia? Clarke decided she didn't want to know.

At around 10pm, Clarke found herself in 'China', the room of a girl named Roma who was in some of her classes. It was here she bumped into her and Octavia's friend Monty Green.

"Oh wow, it's a wild Clarke in an unusual habitat, what will she do next?" He teased as she walked over to him.

"She will club you over the head," Clarke sighed, dropping on the sofa next to him.

"Not having even a little bit of fun?" Monty pouted.

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Monty, there are _strangers_ making out on my bed right now. I tried to kick them but they were really concentrating on other things." She shifted in her dress impatiently.

Monty shrugged, "Think of yourself as Cupid, and then go get a _drink_, Clarke. I think it'll help."

"Help numb my senses so more people can make out on my bed?"

"You have a way with words."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, surveying the other people in the room. Clarke enjoyed making sarcastic comments about guys trying to get with girls and vice versa in her head. They all had the same moves and it was really, really tiresome, boring and gross. The only couple she half way didn't find puke worthy was Lincoln and Octavia, partly because they were both so smitten but both trying to play it cool and it was adorable.

"Hey, have you seen Octavia?" Clarke suddenly asked.

"Not in a while. She was with Lincoln, and I think he's cool," Monty replied.

Clarke nodded, "You're right. She's fine."

"You're not the first person to ask, though, and I must say you were a lot nicer than the other guy."

Clarke whipped her head around to face Monty, "What other guy?"

"Uh, tall, dark, handsome type. The very genre of men I envy," Monty yawned, "His voice was about eight octaves lower than mine and he had a face like thunder."

Clarke's stomach dropped, and she flew up off the couch and out of Roma's room with a quick, "See you later" to Monty. There was no doubt that for some reason Bellamy Blake was roaming these halls, and whilst Clarke had no desire to meet the guy face to face seeing as how unpleasant he'd been on the phone, she had to warn Octavia.

Seeing as Bellamy essentially raised Octavia, she had always described him as protective to a fault. Clarke knew two things for certain: one, Octavia was with Lincoln and two, Bellamy would be beyond angry if he found them together. Jokes aside, Clarke hadn't meant to tell Bellamy about Lincoln, and she had _seen_ the latter and Octavia together, whereas Bellamy hadn't, and he had no right to stop such a harmless relationship.

Every person she passed, she asked "Have you seen Octavia Blake or Lincoln?" to no avail. The campus dorms had gotten extremely crowded, and Clarke had to shove several people out the way resulting in death stares and one "Not cool!". After a particularly difficult push, she rounded the corner, marching headlong into a hard torso.

Clarke stumbled backwards, rubbing her forehead.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"You should watch where you're going," a deep, annoyed voice said curtly.

Clarke froze, and almost comically slowly raised her head to see Bellamy Blake in the flesh, looking harassed, handsome (damn it) and extremely pissed off. Clarke waited a few moments before saying anything, attempting to slow down her heart which had begun to flutter around in her ribcage, probably because of the shock.

Removing her hand from her forehead, Clarke raised her eyebrows, "Wow, you're even nicer in person."

Bellamy folded his arms, frowning, "Clarke Griffin? Huh."

Clarke mimicked his frown, "Don't 'huh' at me, Mr Blake, I've had quite enough of your temper for one day, don't you think?"

He was wearing black from head to toe which matched his dark curly hair and likely his heart. He was also wearing an unreadable expression as he stared at her.

"I hope you're not expecting me to get on my knees in apology, Princess," Bellamy finally said, his eyes clearing.

"Don't call me that," Clarke snapped. "What are you even doing here? Aren't you a little old to hang out at college parties?"

"Don't be cute," Bellamy narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm looking for Octavia."

"Why?" Clarke said immediately.

"I don't need to justify myself to you, Princess."

"I said _don't _call me that."

"What, Princess? I think it suits you quite well."

"You don't want to know what name I think suits you well."

If Clarke hadn't of known better, she'd say he almost smiled. Whatever it was disappeared a second later.

"I don't have time for this, do you know where my sister is or not?"

"Not a clue. Possibly enjoying her adolescence without you looming over her shoulder. Oh wait…" Clarke lifted her chin.

Bellamy looked unimpressed, "Thanks for being annoying and getting in my way, Princess." He made to start down the corridor but Clarke quickly jumped in front of him, arms crossed.

Neither of them said anything, trying to stare the other out. This went on for a full minute until Bellamy heaved a sigh, and simply lifted up Clarke but the waist with both hands as though she weighed nothing more than a rag doll.

"Hey! Get _off _of me! What the hell are you doing?" Clarke demanded, batting at his hands.

However, Bellamy simply plopped her back down to the side of him, and continued walking without a word. Clarke watched him walk away, her arms crossed over her chest, scowling. She watched him until he turned the corner, disturbed at how quickly she had risen to Bellamy's bait. Intense dislike swelled in her chest and she let out a disgusted scoff to no one in particular.

"Whoa, you look like one royally pissed off English Princess," Piped up a voice.

Clarke turned to see the culprit and caught her breath a little. A gorgeous boy that must have been around her eyes stood grinning at her, drink in hand. Clarke had no idea what made such a guy want to approach her right now, but she was glad he did.

"Finn," He held out a hand. "Finn Collins."

Instead of taking his hand, Clarke took his drink and downed the rest of it, which was completely out of her nature for numerous reasons. People wanted her to loosen up, so maybe she'd give it a go. Bellamy Blake had crept under her skin in the very short period of time she'd actually spoken to him and she wanted him out.

"Don't call me Princess," She said shortly, but then smiled. "My name is Clarke."

That night, Clarke met the man she would grow to love and the man she would grow to hate. Trouble is, she had no way of telling which was which.

*

**A/N: So, chapter 2! Clarke has met Bellamy and Finn in the same chapter! I don't think I could cope. Also yay for meeting Monty, hopefully Jasper will turn up soon. It's a bit longer than chapter one, but that's better I think because this way you can get into a chapter and not have it suddenly end at 1k words. Thanks especially to PalmTreesAtMidnight for asking me to carry on, because even if only one person does, I will write for that one person. And thanks of course like I said earlier for favouriting/following this story! **

**Please review, all feedback welcome I'd love to chat to you guys and hear what you think!**

**(Side note, last chapter I spelt Monroe wrong, please forgive me)**

**Love, **

**Caragon x**


	3. What The Hell Happened Last Night?

**Aloha! This chapter is about two pages longer on word processor than the previous two and they will probably get even longer as times goes on. I like my meaty chapters, what can I say? **

**I also have to say right here OMFG CW GAVE US A SEASON THREE I AM BEYOND HAPPY. I'm really proud of The 100 fandom! We can now watch the rest of Season Two in peace knowing that we've been renewed. (Also MORE BELLARKE ANGST but whatever).**

**DISCLAIMER: Not even Santa Claus would give me the rights to The 100 or its characters, so I don't own them. **

Chapter Three

**What The Hell Happened Last Night?**

_By caggiewrites_

The world was ending.

Clarke was sure of it.

Bright light shone through her closed eyelids, and the only plausible explanation for such a terrible light was that the sun had swallowed the earth.

But then why was her head pounding? Her limbs aching? Feeling brave, Clarke squinted her eyes open to see that actually the world wasn't ending, she was in her dorm sprawled across the bed. The sun still burned her eyes so she shut them quickly and groaned.

Clarke stayed with her eyes squinted shut for a long time until an entirely unwelcome door slam jolted her eyes open.

"Sleeping beauty is awake!" Clarke recognised the teasing tone of Octavia and only noted that it was too loud.

"What?" She felt Octavia's weight as the girl dropped herself onto Clarke's bed. "You don't want to chat?"

Mocking, definitely mocking. Clarke rolled over so she was facing Octavia, who was looking down at her with a smug expression.

"Hrrrrrrnnnnnnnng" was the sound that Clarke made.

Octavia snorted, and lay down so she was face to face with Clarke.

"But I have questions for you, Clarke, and you _are _on my bed."

This stirred something inside Clarke: "What?" She sat up quickly, and felt her stomach lurch and her head pound. "Oh, god." Clarke could now see that the room perspective was different from her usual wake up and looked around to see Octavia's quilt.

Sitting up as well, Octavia laughed, "Yep. I tried to put you in yours but you kept whining 'Blake' and so I asked if you wanted my bed, at which point you asked me who I was," She continued to laugh at the memory as Clarke's jaw gaped open. "So I said, _Clarke, it's me Octavia Blake_, to which you replied _Blake is good _and crawled over to my bed."

Octavia was now cackling as Clarke put her hands over her eyes as she tried to recollect this scenario and did not find it.

"So you put me to bed?" Clarke asked.

Octavia nodded, and then grinned, "But that boy helped."

"What boy?" Clarke said immediately, facing Octavia.

Before Octavia could reply, the door burst open again, and in came Raven with three take out cups (hopefully full of coffee). Clarke hated how she looked radiant after a night like last night.

"Your sign now says _Octavia and Clarke's British Ha _by the way," Raven chirped, and budged Octavia up so she could sit on the bed as well. "Which just about sums you up, Griffin. A British ha." She gestured to Clarke's outfit.

Looking down, Clarke saw in horror that she was still wearing the Union Jack dress from last night, but by now it was covered in alcohol stains and probably reeked. She felt gross, she could feel the 12 hour old make up sticky on her face, her hair felt dirty and like a rat's nest. The night before hung over like a sign post, just not the _actual _memories.

"Take me to the shower," Clarke moaned, and dragged herself up.

"You can take yourself," Octavia chimed in. "I already put you to bed and cleaned up your puke from the hallway."

Clarke looked back at Octavia and Raven and sighed, pulling a face to let them know she was just as grossed out at herself as them. Both of them burst out laughing, marvelling at hung over Clarke. They shooed her off to the shower and she left after making them swear they'd tell her everything when she got back.

The shower felt like heaven to Clarke, as she scrubbed away the 'night before' from her body. She'd gotten a fair few looks in the corridor as she was so obviously not okay.

Without hesitating, Clarke threw the union jack dress in the bin, "Sorry, Octavia." She'd had enough of England and she'd never even been. Clarke left the showers a new woman (with a pounding headache and memory loss) and was in decidedly better spirits once she took some aspirin back in the dorm, though she cradled the water to her chest, only moving it to take drink it like a woman possessed. Raven and Octavia were bickering over a pair of jeans in Octavia's closet when Clarke finally tuned into them.

"Okay, as fun as this is, I've got to go. Study session with a bunch of kids from my mechanics class," Raven announced after 5 minutes of this, grabbing her bag.

"Gross."

"Thanks, Blake," Raven turned to Clarke. "You going to be okay?" Clarke nodded wearily from her position of collapsed on her bed. Raven nodded once, apparently in approval. "Good, Green and Jordan are on their way over, you guys are going to have a cooked breakfast and catch up about last night and I'm furious I won't be there but, whatever, you need a pick up."

Octavia jumped in before Clarke could reply, "Thanks for the schedule summary, Reyes. Go run to your smart friends." She smiled sweetly at Raven who flashed a peace sign and left.

"I'm smart," Clarke grumbled.

"You really don't have a leg to stand on, right now," Octavia pointed out.

Clarke sighed, finally having succeeded the limit on how long she could be ignorant about her night. "Am I going to get some answers?"

"Yes," Octavia said. "When Jasper and Monty get here, you can ask as many questions as you want. But no more than twenty."

Octavia, Jasper and Monty were all laughing hysterically, tears forming in their eyes. All at Clarke's expense. She sat at the table outside the local café despairing with her supposed friends.

"I did _not_ say that," She said, as though that made it true.

Still laughing, Jasper stuttered out, "But you did! I was there, and you, Clarke Griffin, told Jones he was quote, _smokin' hot_." A fresh round of laughter from the other three.

Clarke buried her head in her hands, "To Jones? But he's one of the only airheads in my class I actually _like_, and now I'm down to zero."

"Don't be stupid, Clarke, I think he was flattered," Octavia reasoned.

So far that morning, over fried eggs, bacon and sausages on a gorgeous sunny Sunday, Clarke had been informed of how last night at around 10pm she resolved to get absolutely hammered and spent the rest of night being thoroughly 'honest' with everyone. Until about 2am, that is, when she passed out in Roma's room and was carried back to her room where she puked outside and then fell asleep in Octavia's bed.

"I am so, so _sorry_, you guys," Clarke groaned, staring imploringly at them.

"Seriously, don't sweat it, Clarke," Said Monty, recovering from laughter. "It was the best part of the night. You may have insulted 50% of the student body, but the _other _half, you were so, so sweet, I almost cried. I mean, you telling Tavia's brother that he seriously 'bugged you' and then going onto say-"

Clarke and Octavia spoke at the same time.

"I don't want to hear that bit again, Monty!"

"Hold up! I spoke to _Bellamy_?"

Monty and Jasper exchanged a look saved for the two of them and laughed again.

"You didn't just speak to him, C. You said 'You seriously bug me. And then the fact that you're hot doesn't help it makes it _worse_. Your hotness bugs me even more'." Jasper said before doubling up.

"Jasper, don't forget the 'arrogant asshole'." Monty chimed.

Octavia snorted, "She's probably said that sober."

Clarke stared at her friends, horrified, causing them to laugh harder.

"Great, that's just fantastic. We did talk when I was sober and it didn't go very well, I was just trying to stop him from – wait! God, Tavia, did he find you with Lincoln?" Clarke asked, the memory of why she'd endured talking to Bellamy resurfacing.

"Oh, he found me. But not Lincoln, Raven tipped us off," Octavia said grimly. "I was a bit drunk myself and he wasn't impressed, but then you turned up and made me look like I was a Church regular."

"I still can't believe he tried to stop you from drinking at a college party," Jasper observed.

Octavia shrugged, "That's Bellamy."

That's Bellamy. And Clarke couldn't seem to shake him. For some reason she felt _embarrassed _the way she'd acted in front of him, and felt herself flush as she thought about calling him hot. And why was it she couldn't seem to keep from her temper rising when he spoke to her? I mean, of course, he was aggravating as hell, but Clarke had never been so quick to respond than with her few interactions with Bellamy. Clarke told herself she didn't care what he thought of her, but there was also a part of her that wanted to see him again. To argue with him or justify herself or what, she had no clue. But her drunk self was right, it was a whole lot more annoying that he was seriously good looking. Clarke could tell that he knew it, and therefore treated everyone else like crap because he thought he was better.

All with the exception of his little sister. That just confused Clarke more, how could somebody so arrogant have brought up such a sweet and generous girl? How did someone transition so fast from a protective and kind big brother to a pompous pig? It was exactly like she'd said the previous day, Clarke mused, that he was a teddy bear in a leather jacket. But Clarke _hated_ that leather jacket, no matter what her nagging feelings felt.

"Clarke, are you even listening to me?" Octavia was saying, and Clarke jumped out of her Bellamy induced reverie.

"Um…" Clarke smiled guiltily. "No."

Octavia pointed over Clarke's shoulder impatiently, to the busy street behind her.

"There's that guy!" She said excitedly.

Clarke searched the sunny street, attempting to follow Octavia's finger.

"What guy?" Clarke said.

"Yeah, what guy?" Jasper and Monty said simultaneously.

Octavia sighed, still jabbing her finger. "The _guy_! You know, the one who carried you to our dorm and helped me put you to bed!"

Clarke desperately searched the street until she saw him, strolling out of the bakery across the road, sunglasses on, looking stupidly hot. She span back around, so her back was to him again.

"_Finn_?" Clarke said urgently. "It was _Finn_ that saw me puke and put me to bed? Oh, god, oh god!"

Jasper, Monty, and Octavia were still peering at him.

"Whoa, Clarke, he's almost as good looking as me." Jasper whistled.

"That's an insult, he's way better," Monty corrected, earning a flick in the face from Jasper.

"I'd forgotten he was so hot. Don't tell Lincoln I said that. Hey, he's crossing the road!" Octavia said last, and Clarke squealed.

"Nobody look! We didn't see him!" She whispered frantically.

Monty had the good grace to duck his head, but Jasper and Octavia sniggered at Clarke's new found embarrassment and continued to look.

"Finn, hey!" Octavia shouted suddenly and Clarke looked up in panic, shooting her daggers.

"What are you _doing_?" Clarke whispered furiously at Octavia who was beaming over Clarke's shoulder.

"Oh, yell at me later, Clarke. Or thank me," Octavia winked and before anything else was said, Finn Collins reached their table.

"Hey, guys!" He looked at each of them individually and finally Clarke, "Hey, Clarke."

She attempted a smile at him, "Hey, Finn."

Octavia kicked her under the table and she groaned.

"What?" Finn said, looking at her with a puzzled expression.

With a slightly erratic heartbeat, Clarke said, "I said this is Octavia!" Gesturing to the girl in question, she shot her a glare whilst Finn wasn't looking. "And Monty," Monty waved. "And this is Jasper." Jasper nodded, smiling bemusedly.

"Nice to meet you all," Finn said politely, before grinning, "But I did happen to be introduced to Octavia _yesterday_… or was it this morning?" At this, Finn grinned at Clarke who may or may not have melted right there.

"Yeah, about that…" Clarke began, feeling herself blush.

Finn held up his hands, "No big deal! I rather enjoyed seeing you Iet loose, the sick is something I'll get over." They laughed, and Clarke felt a small bubble swell in her chest because of Finn Collins.

He checked his watch, "Damn, I have to run, but I'll see you all soon," He said, but looked at Clarke whilst saying it. "I did leave my number at the top of one of your assignments on your desk, I hope that was okay, but you were in no state to give me yours." He winked. "Call me!"

With these parting words, Finn waved and walked away towards the campus buildings. Clarke watched after him with her lips parted, vaguely aware of her friends chatting.

"Does he even go here?"

"I don't know, he's headed to the dorms."

"I don't _care_, he was gorgeous and he fancies Clarke _so _bad!"

Clarke couldn't help herself. She smiled.

Later that afternoon, Clarke sat alone in her room, catching up on all her neglected work she should have done this morning. Monty and Jasper went to go and see a movie with Raven who caught up with them and Octavia had left in a love sick frenzy to go and meet Lincoln shortly afterwards. Clarke loved her friends, but she also enjoyed the time she could spend by herself in peace, and now that her headache was gone along with the woozy, groggy feeling, she was in high spirits. Monroe had dropped in earlier to congratulate her on her inebriated state last night, and Clarke had laughed, but honestly, she was in no hurry to do it again. Clarke didn't consider herself a prude, but she just didn't enjoy the feeling of losing all control, it actually scared her. As for the whole memory loss thing, she hated that too. Why have a good time if you couldn't even remember it? Also, she would never fully know what she had said to Bellamy and Finn. Not that she cared what she said to the former.

The thought of him had barely popped into her head when the door was barged open, and Bellamy himself marched in. Clarke immediately sat up, staring at him.

"You have a problem," She noted, trying to act casual about his sudden intrusion.

As if just noticing her, Bellamy raised his eyebrows, "More than I care to count."

Clarke stared at him incredulously, and Bellamy stared back as though he had no idea what she could possibly look taken aback by.

"So, Bellamy…" She began. "What the hell are you doing in my room?"

"Oh, right. I'm meeting Octavia," He answered simply, walking over to Octavia's side of the room.

Clarke scoffed, "You can't just storm in here! Did you ever hear of knocking? I could have been in my underwear or _naked_, I swear to god-"

"If you were, Princess," Bellamy interrupted, smirking now. "I know that you wouldn't mind because of how 'hot' I am."

Clarke's heart sunk. It really hadn't taken him long to use that, had it?

"You must be partially deaf because I _also _said that I find you extremely annoying."

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over how hot you think I am." He was now sat on Octavia's desk chair casually, legs stretched out.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at him, "Can't you wait in the hall? I doubt you'll be lonely in a building full of female college freshmen."

Bellamy raised his hands, "There you go again with the calling me hot!"

It seemed Bellamy Blake was in a good mood today, and though Clarke was still faintly aggravated by everything he said or did, she could admit it was a nice change from his former rude asshole self.

"How old are you?" Clarke asked him.

Surprised, he replied, "Twenty-three."

Clarke dropped her pen on the desk and looked at him thoughtfully. Bellamy looked straight back at her, but she could see the curiosity in his eyes. Maybe that's what made her heart skitter, Clarke thought, the fact that he was five years older. It unnerved her, and intrigued her.

"Do you have a job?" She said next.

Bellamy cocked his head, "I'm a firefighter." Clarke tried not to react. "But I also do shifts at a local bar."

Clarke nodded, trying to stop her imagination running away with her because of Bellamy in a firefighter uniform. He may be frustrating as hell, but Clarke was positive he killed it in the uniform. Another pro. Wait, when had she started listing pros and cons?

Shaking her head slightly to free herself of her thoughts, "For Octavia." She said quickly.

This time Bellamy nodded, absently fiddling with one of Octavia's trinkets on the desk.

There was a prolonged silence. But it was different from last night, more thoughtful than anything. Clarke and Bellamy's minds were both wondering. Clarke broke away first, and turned to her desk.

"You can wait here if you're as quiet as a mouse, I'm working," She instructed.

When Octavia walked in the room fifteen minutes later, her first thought was to panic, Clarke and Bellamy alone in a room together spelled disaster. Her second thought was mild surprise, however, when her eyes took in the scene and she saw Clarke studying away whilst Bellamy sat at his sister's own desk watching her. It was peaceful.

As they both glanced up, Octavia couldn't conceal her grin. She had a sixth sense for this particular subject.

**A/N: Clarke is so crazy. I'm glad she got drunk, I don't think Clarke is a prude she's just sensible and knows her limits, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Raise your hands for Raven, Monty and Jasper! I really want to incorporate them more. Speaking of, thinking of doing some alternate POVs in the next few chapters. What is going in Bellamy's head?! **

**Thanks a bunch to mitchiew, charmingmissy, Mirandaannw and vulnera-sapientia for reviewing! You don't know how much reviews mean until you write one of these things yourself, they're really encouraging and so kind of you guys. **

**Please review this chapter!**

**Until next time muchachos,**

**Caragon x**


	4. There's No Peace Without War

**We meet again! Welcome to my humble abode. Enjoy this chapter! **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The 100 or its characters. However if you know where I can buy a Bob Morley online, that'd be great. **

Chapter Four

**There's No Peace Without War**

_By caggiewrites_

It was now Wednesday, and Clarke was in a foul mood due to the crappy mark she'd just received on her latest paper and Finn had not returned any of her calls.

She'd only rung twice, sure, but that was once more than she really should have. And if Finn was as eager as her friends painted him to be, why hadn't he called back?

On her way home from class that afternoon, therefore, Clarke was not in the mood to talk to Abby Griffin when her mother called. After letting the call ring, she felt instantly bad because she knew what was coming up. That was part of the reason she didn't want to talk to her mom.

Clarke was so caught up in her own head she didn't notice Finn until her was about a metre away from her. Despite her annoyance, she noted how _good _he looked in denim jeans and a button up.

Clarke could only blink at him, "Finn? What are you doing outside my room?"

Finn looked surprised himself, but Clarke couldn't possibly think why, since he was standing literally by the wall of her door, "Hey, Clarke! I was… looking for you, of course."

Clarke frowned. For someone waiting for her, he looked odd about the fact she'd shown up.

"Okay… you wanna come in?" Clarke asked, letting herself in.

Finn immediately accepted and walked in the room. Octavia wasn't about, so Clarke just dumped her stuff on the bed and turned around to face him, fiddling with the hem of her sleeves. Finn looked around the room, and Clarke hated that the room was messy and that the silence was awkward. Was it just a couple of days ago she'd sat here in _comfortable _silence with Bellamy Blake?

"You didn't return my call," She blurted desperately, then cursed herself for sounding so pathetic.

Finn looked at her, "What? Oh, yeah! I'm sorry about that I was so busy these last couple days. But I was nearby and thought I'd drop in." He smiled at her, and Clarke couldn't help but return the gesture.

"It's fine, of course. What's up?" Clarke replied, attempting at casual.

"Well, I was wondering whether you were busy this Friday night." Finn's grin was now adorable and Clarke felt herself relax. "We could go see a movie or something. Dinner, drinks, whatever."

Clarke found herself nodding, butterflies whizzing around her stomach, "I'd like that." She admitted. "Drinks is a good call, then we can talk. I always find movies pretty pointless as a first date, you have to sit in silence!" Clarke reasoned when Finn laughed appreciatively. What she didn't say was that dinner meant she'd have to eat in front of him and what if she spilled something or dribbled or –

"Drinks it is, I'll swing by around eight?"

They talked a while more until Finn said he had to go. Clarke closed the door behind him with a giddy smile on her face. A date with Finn! Still with her back to the door, someone tried to swing it open with their usual gusto, and Clarke was pushed to floor.

"Clarke? What were you doing by the door? Did I just see Finn?" Octavia quizzed as soon as she stepped in the room.

From the floor, Clarke looked up at Octavia, rubbing her back, "What is it with you Blakes and blasting doors open? You don't need to demonstrate your general badassery _all _the time." But Clarke was smiling, and she accepted Octavia's hand.

Octavia shot her a sly smile but brushed this off, "So, what did Finn say?"

Clarke smiled deviously, and Octavia squealed, "Clarke! Did he ask you out?"

Clarke just nodded and the two girls indulged in some stereotypical femininity, jumping and screeching around the room. After they'd calmed down, Octavia said that she needed an excuse for celebration as they were going for drinks in a bar down town later. Ten minutes ago, Clarke would have shot Octavia down, but now she was feeling light hearted and had a date with _Finn_, so she agreed.

"It's actually the bar Bell works at," Octavia admitted.

Clarke felt a churn of mixed emotions in her chest, "What? Will he be there?"

"Yes," Octavia looked at Clarke's face carefully. "But there's a reason… I'm taking Lincoln with us."

Clarke's eyes widened at her roommate, and she launched into a flurry of worries, "Octavia, you said it yourself, Bellamy hates Lincoln! For stupid reasons, but even so. We should be keeping Lincoln _away _from Bellamy, not waving him under his nose so that he gets mad and in a _bar_, he's not allowed to drink on the job is he? Because that could just get messy."

Octavia seized Clarke's arms, "Clarke, _calm down_." Satisfied, Octavia slumped on her bed. "I'm taking Lincoln to the bar tonight because Bellamy _can't _get crazy whilst he's working. It sounds cruel, I know, but I am just really sick of separating the two of them. I really like Lincoln, Clarke, and Bellamy means the world to me, I just want them to _tolerate _each other at least."

It made Clarke so sad when Octavia got upset, because she was the strongest girl Clarke had ever met and she knew that was due to her past in so many ways, but now Clarke was Octavia's best friend, she would do anything to help the girl. She and Bellamy shared something in common after all.

Clarke kneeled down in front of Octavia, taking her hand, "I'm sorry, you're right. You're right and I will assist in any way that I can. I'll call all the others and make sure they come, too, just in case we need reinforcements."

Clarke was nervous about seeing Bellamy again, but she couldn't put her finger on the reason. She banished his face from her mind as she selected **JASPER JORDAN **on her phone and pressed dial.

The bar was called 'The Ark' and even to Clarke it seemed like a cool place. Her, Octavia, Raven, Monty, Jasper, Monroe and the guest of honour Lincoln arrived at around 9:30pm, a half hour after Bellamy was due to start working. There was a certain nervous energy amongst the group, but the way that Octavia grabbed at Lincoln's hand and squeezed it tightly powered them all onwards. From the short time the rest of them had interacted with Bellamy, they knew he had a mad temper, and none of them were too excited to be poking at it.

Inside, it was decorated kind of old school, but there was definitely a space element going on, and Clarke noted the beautiful paintings covering the walls of outer space. They chose a booth close to the bar, and it wasn't long before Monty called attention to Bellamy serving a bunch of guys at the other end.

"So, who's ordering?" Jasper asked.

The group looked around at each other. Clarke noticed Octavia watching Bellamy, almost fearfully, and seized the opportunity.

"I'll go," Clarke offered, "With Octavia. We're going to get this over with."

Octavia herself snapped out of her trance and looked at Clarke, but then nodded, steeling herself. They extracted themselves from the booth.

"You sure I shouldn't come with you straightaway?" Lincoln asked.

Before Octavia could respond, Clarke said, "No. Let Octavia explain first, and then we'll call you when it's… safe."

On the way to the bar, Octavia actually clasped Clarke's hand and Clarke smiled reassuringly at her. Telling Bellamy about Lincoln must be the equivalent of the good girl telling her father she has gotten pregnant at 16, Clarke mused.

When they reached the bar, they were approached by a man who was not Bellamy, who was wearing a beanie and also good looking. Clarke wondered if they had an attractiveness test you had to pass to work here.

"What can I get you, girls?" He asked in a friendly tone.

"Actually, could we wait for the barman over there?" Octavia said immediately, too frenzied to match his politeness.

The barman raised his eyebrows, "Got your eye on someone?" He turned around. "Wick? Bellamy?"

"Bellamy, and he's my brother, so, no," Octavia seemed to reign herself in just enough to wickedly side grin at Clarke. "I'm just speaking for myself, though."

Before Clarke could ask what the hell she meant by that, the barman spoke, "Oh, sure! Octavia, right? Bellamy goes on about you all the time. I'm Miller," The barman now with the name Miller stuck his hand over the bar to shake Clarke and Octavia's hands. "Hey, Bellamy!" Miller called, and Bellamy turned around. He looked puzzled for a brief second but then he saw Octavia and his face broke into a grin, and god, did Clarke dare admit to herself it made her heart stop for the tiniest of seconds? Perhaps it was the shock, but Clarke didn't seem to think so. She was made even more uncomfortable when Bellamy's eyes locked on Clarke and the smile didn't actually slide off his face in disgust, which surprised her. Instead, it turned into more of a '_Clarke's here. Huh.' _smile that wasn't entirely unpleasant.

Bellamy motioned for Miller to swap with him and he began to walk over.

"Oh god, oh god, Clarke, don't let me die," Octavia suddenly began whispering.

Clarke turned to look Octavia straight in the eye, "Octavia. It's going to be fine, this is your brother."

Bellamy had arrived. "So, what brings you here tonight?" Good mood again, Clarke noted, perhaps they would be lucky. It made his very low voice pleasant.

Octavia was just smiling at her brother, but it was so fixed it looked demonic. Bellamy began to look suspicious, glancing from his sister to Clarke.

"Just hanging out, thought we'd check out this place," Clarke tried. "It's nice."

Bellamy slowly nodded at her, looking even more confused than before, "It's alright. Octavia told me you don't usually go out during the week."

Clarke was struck that Octavia had ever talked about her to Bellamy and even more struck by the fact that Bellamy remembered whatever she told him.

"Well, I'm a changed woman now, after Saturday night," Clarke joked lamely, but she swore she saw the corners of his mouth turn up.

"Well, any time you want to come by my work to tell me I'm hot is fine by me, Princess," Bellamy said smugly.

Clarke rolled her eyes and they shared a small smile for the smallest moment, but it lasted forever in Clarke's mind. Yet she doubted forever was long enough to sort out the mess of feelings in her head concerning Bellamy. Clarke almost forgot Octavia was there when she spoke up, and by the way Bellamy jumped, he had too.

"Lincoln's here," She blurted.

Well that was one way of going about it.

Bellamy seemed puzzled at first, but then his face cleared and turned to apprehensive, "What do you mean, he's _here_?" Immediately, he began to search the bar with his eyes, and Clarke saw the red flags. She nudged Octavia.

"Bell, listen to me, please. I care about your opinion, I do, but you're being kind of irrational about this whole thing. I really like Lincoln and he cares about me! Is it so bad of me to want the two of my favourite men in the same room?" She said all of this very fast.

Bellamy seemed to be trying very hard to exercise control of himself, "Octavia, you don't know anything about him, and I don't trust him. You have no idea what he is thinking."

Octavia sighed in exasperation, "He's not _hiding _anything, Bellamy! I should be able to go out with who _I _want to, not who you've proven permission of! Which, by the way, will be nobody ever and I'll die a spinster. C'mon, Bell."

He stayed silent, breathing very hard.

"_Please_," Octavia looked imploringly at her brother. "Meet him, just meet him. For me."

Clarke desperately willed Bellamy to say yes, she didn't understand how he couldn't see how distressed Octavia was.

"Bring him out of hiding, then," Bellamy finally deadpanned.

Octavia exhaled and scurried back over to their booth, where Clarke noticed all of their friends were watching with baited breath. When she looked back at Bellamy, she was taken aback to see him staring at her, his face unreadable. Clarke didn't break eye contact for a moment, but then she cocked her head in the direction of the booth and began to walk, and though she didn't look back, sensed him paralleling her.

Lincoln and Octavia were stood slightly away from the rest of their friends. Bellamy came out from behind the bar. There was a pregnant pause. Finally Lincoln reached out, offering his hand to Bellamy, "I'm Lincoln." He said politely.

Bellamy looked Lincoln up and down, ignoring his hand which retracted slowly.

"Bellamy…" Octavia whispered as warning.

His eyes lingered on Octavia's small hands clutching Lincoln's arm. It felt like the rest of the world had slowed down around them, and it was just Clarke, Lincoln and Octavia all watching Bellamy carefully. It seemed like Bellamy stared at Lincoln for ages, until his eyes dropped to the floor.

Finally, he said, "Did you know that I was against you seeing my sister?" His use of the possessive 'my' didn't go unnoticed by anyone.

Clarke heard Octavia swallow, and had to be impressed by Lincoln who did not falter.

"Yes." He said.

As far as Bellamy was concerned, that was his death sentence.

He swung at Lincoln before anybody could react and hit the latter man square in the jaw. Lincoln staggered back, and Octavia reached out to him with a cry. Clarke registered the bar going quiet, but concentrated on pulling fiercely at the back of Octavia's shirt so she was not in the line of fire. It was lucky she did, because Bellamy grabbed Lincoln by his shirt and muttered something before punching him again, Lincoln falling to the floor this time. Clarke was sure that Lincoln could put up a good fight against Bellamy, but he seemed reluctant to actually hit him.

Octavia pulled free of Clarke's hold and attempted to pull Bellamy off of Lincoln.

"Bellamy _stop_! Get off of him, Bellamy please! Lincoln! Lincoln, oh god, fight _back_!" Clarke was shocked at Octavia's statement but she then looked at the two men and saw Bellamy had a distinct upper hand.

It seemed all Lincoln needed was permission, and he hit Bellamy squarely in the nose, and Clarke saw the blood flow. By this time, the barmen Wick and Miller had reached them, and also attempted to pull Bellamy off Lincoln. Most of their friends had stood up in horror.

Finally, Clarke turned around and saw the whole bar engrossed in this fight. Some cheered, and some looked disgusted. They all, however, did nothing. For some reason, this angered Clarke. These two men were fighting like barbarians and all any of these people could do was watch like it was entertainment. As Clarke heard another fist connect with flesh and a grunt, she whirled around, and headed straight into the middle of the mix.

"That is ENOUGH!" Clarke shouted angrily. Everyone halted, and she was suddenly aware of everyone looking at her.

With the distraction, Wick and Miller successfully got a hold of Bellamy and pulled him away. His nose was bloody and he had a cut lip, but it looked as though he barely noticed. Octavia hurriedly helped Lincoln to his feet, already fussing over him. Bellamy still watched Lincoln with pure hatred, both breathing heavily. Octavia was crying, and hugging Lincoln to her. He wrapped an arm around her.

"I was trying to do right by Octavia," Lincoln said quietly, looking at Bellamy.

Clarke sensed Bellamy's movement a heartbeat quicker than anyone else, and jumped in front of him, hands grabbing the front of his shirt, holding him back. Wick and Miller then kicked in and restrained his arms, but Clarke didn't let go. Bellamy seethed at Lincoln over the top of her head, struggling.

"Bellamy," Clarke looked up at his face. "Stop." She said evenly.

After a few seconds, Bellamy did just that. He dropped his gaze to Clarke and it was unreadable, just like before, but he stared into her eyes and they were so close Clarke had to fight to clear her head. Clarke didn't break his gaze.

"Octavia, take Lincoln and go," Clarke said, still looking up at Bellamy, trying to will him to shut up for once. When she didn't hear any movement, however, she turned her head and looked pleadingly at her best friend. "Go."

Still crying, Octavia nodded at Clarke, and pulled Lincoln with her out of the bar. The others all trailed after them, bar Raven, who stayed in her seat. Once Octavia was out of sight, Bellamy visibly relaxed, all the fight went out of him. Clarke finally released her grip on his shirt and stepped away and Bellamy hung his head. Finally, Raven got up and addressed the whispering crowd.

"Okay, show's over! Everyone back to your little conversations!" She called to them, and they began to talk amongst themselves again, the buzz of the bar creeping up in volume once more.

"Hey," Said Miller to Clarke. "We have to get back and serve this lot. Will you stay with him?" He gestured to the forlorn Bellamy.

Her heart sunk, as she imagined she was possibly the last person on earth Bellamy would want to be with right now. But she nodded, he shouldn't be by himself.

"Thanks," Miller sighed with relief. "You can take him out back."

Clarke nodded, and moved towards Bellamy.

"I'll wait for you, Clarke," Raven offered, and hitched herself up onto a bar stool opposite Wick who had returned to behind the bar already. "So, can I get a drink on the house, or did we cause too much shit?"

Clarke heard Wick laugh as she guided Bellamy out back. Clarke decided to go outside because the fresh air would probably do both of them good. Bellamy immediately sat down on an upturned crate and Clarke leaned against the wall beside him, leaving at least a metre's distance. They were silent for a while, the only sounds the distant hum from inside the bar and their breathing outside. Bellamy's breaths gradually got slower and less heavy, until he seemed to have calmed down.

Clarke did sympathise with Bellamy to an extent. She could see why having any boy around Octavia irked him. He had always been the man in her life, the one who looked after her and cheered her up and wiped her tears. He could see himself being replaced, which although a ridiculous idea if you had seen the Blake siblings together, was understandable of him to think. Bellamy and Octavia were each other's only family, and how do you react to the only person who has always been there… moving on? Clarke wondered if he worried about not mattering. If nobody needed you, did you matter at all? It was a sad thought and for a moment made Clarke almost _understand _a part of Bellamy.

"Well, that was a disaster," Clarke finally said, not really sure if she aiming for light hearted or not.

Bellamy grunted in reply.

"You didn't have to hit him," She continued.

"How could I not?" Bellamy burst. "He thinks he can come around here and tell me what is and isn't right for Octavia."

"_I'll _tell you what's not right for Octavia," Clarke turned to face him. "Beating up her boyfriend in a bar! What were you thinking?"

This time Bellamy faced her, "What was I thinking? I was thinking about protecting Octavia, like I always am!"

"Protecting her from _what_?" Clarke said incredulously. "There is nothing wrong with Lincoln!"

"And how would you know that?" He spat.

"I happen to have spent some time with him! Actually getting to know him before punching him in the face!"

"Oh, of course!" Bellamy stood up now. "This was probably all you, wasn't it, Princess? Egging her on about that moron until she felt she _had _to go out with him."

Clarke scoffed, not believing her ears, "I brainwashed her now? God, do you even _hear _yourself? And don't call me Princess!"

"I know what you freshmen girls are like, all about boys and nothing else, never thinking for one _second _that behind that bravado there is a nasty piece of work!" Bellamy raised his voice now.

"Ha!" Clarke raised her own voice as well, marching up to him. "Bellamy, you're just describing _yourself_. Is that what this is about? You don't want Octavia to meet another _you_ because you can see how poisonous and unpleasant and horrible you are!"

"Poisonous and unpleasant? You should know all about that, Princess, having the hots for Finn Collins!" Bellamy shouted furiously, his face getting closer to hers.

"_Excuse me_?" Clarke shoved Bellamy back by the chest, although it didn't have the desired effect as the man's a tank, he still stumbled backwards. "This has nothing to do with me and Finn! Which, by the way, is none of your damn business!"

"Sure it isn't, but even you know the way he acts sometimes _is _kind of odd. Tell me, why is that?" Bellamy was baiting her, and he had regain his close contact. There was but a few inches between their bodies.

"Bellamy! This is not about me and Finn freaking Collins! This is about you being an asshole!" Clarke cried.

"If I'm such an asshole, and you hate me so much, why the hell are you here, Clarke?" The use of her first name instead of the stupid nickname threw her off, and Clarke faltered. Now that she wasn't shouting, she noticed just how close they were. He was much taller than her but he had freckles scattered across his nose and his lips were slightly parted as he breathed heavily. All of these features were marred by the blood that was drying there, or in the case of the nose, still trickling out. And the question hung in the limited air between them.

Without a second thought, she spun around and went back inside, leaving Bellamy standing alone.

She didn't leave though. Clarke came back not two minutes later with a damp cloth to find Bellamy resting against the wall, head in hands. She knelt in front him.

"Hey," Clarke said gently. Bellamy hadn't heard her return and brought his head out of his hands in surprise and just looked at her face, mouth open. "That's better. I need to clean your face, it looks disgusting."

Bellamy chuckled under his breath. She began to gently clean off the blood around his mouth and nose, concentrating very hard on ignoring their once again close proximity. She could feel his eyes on her though, and when she was done, she glanced up at him to see his eyes lazily focussed on her lips. Her breath hitched, and she licked her lips nervously before standing up suddenly.

"Squeaky clean. Sort of," Clarke announced. He stood up with her.

"What now?" Bellamy said simply.

Clarke looked up at him, her eyes full of real sympathy this time, "You make it right."

**A/N: Tada! First things first, for the purposes of this fic, the drinking age is 18, like it is in England because otherwise that would have brought up loads of complications with the bar and I really love Bellamy working in a bar. I hope you liked this chapter! Chapter 6 will definitely be Bellamy POV because I already have Chapter 5 planned. **

**Huge shout out to nolechic512, Emmie-Kai, BellaClara, HighSocks, vulnera-sapientia and Rednecks 'n Angels! Your reviews made me blush like crazy I am SO happy you are enjoying this fic! Thank you so much. Keep up that reviewing or I have no flow! **

**Until next time,**

**Caragon x**

**PS. So I am a crazy fast updater. I hope my grades don't show that. You're more important. **


	5. Let the Words Slip Out of Your Mouth

**I hope you're all beyond fab. This is a long ass chapter and a lot of crap goes down, hence the lack of my usual speedy updating.** **I hope you're ready! How did everyone enjoy the 'Remember Me' episode?! There was SO MUCH Bellarke oh dear god, and The 100 writers say they don't write Bellarke? Anyhow, I do, so on with it!**

**I finally found the horizontal line button so that there are actual spaces where there are breaks in the chapters now, so I'm happy because that was stressing me out. **

**DISCLAIMER: I still don't own The 100 or its characters, clearly not spoiled enough by my parents. **

Chapter Five

**Let the Words Slip Out of Your Mouth**

_By caggiewrites_

[In the wind of a heavy choice,  
>Love is a quiet voice,<br>Still your mind,  
>Now I'm yours to choose<br>- Christina Perri]

Not many people knew that Clarke was an artist. They usually assumed that because she was training to be a Doctor, she was all about science and nothing else. But that wasn't true. Her favourite drawings she did were done with charcoal pencils, and they especially complimented Bellamy Blake.

Clarke didn't know why she had the urge to draw him. It was mostly the idea of trying to capture his face in one moment. He had so many facial expressions and they changed so quickly, so suddenly, that you never had to time to look at one enough. Clarke was mostly captivated by Bellamy's eyes, as they had something in them that she couldn't quite get to come across in her drawing. It was like what she was looking for was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't quite reach it.

It was making her frustrated, and it didn't help because she was already extremely antsy because it was just one day until her date with Finn. Clarke hadn't even paid attention in her class that morning because her mind was full of the scenario at the bar last night and her conversation – or more appropriately labelled, argument – with Bellamy. She almost felt guilty when she realised half way through her Professor's lecture she had envisioned Bellamy's face a tenth fold more than Finn's that morning. The man got under her skin, and it did not bode well with Clarke who liked to be in control at all times. He was really awful, so why did her heart start doing laps around her chest last night when she caught him looking at her mouth. _Why _was he looking at her mouth? Maybe he'd just fallen into a stupor.

_Damn it, Clarke_, she thought, _you have a date with Finn freaking Collins tomorrow and you're thinking about Bellamy looking at your lips? Bellamy and lips? Bellamy's lips…? _

Clarke was thankfully jolted out of this moment of madness when Octavia marched into the dorm in her usual unannounced fashion. Clarke immediately shoved her drawing of Bellamy out of view.

To say Octavia was mad at her brother was an understatement. She was seething, and rightfully so. He had been embarrassing and irrational and had beat up her boyfriend all for no reason. When Clarke had gotten home at around half 11 (so she'd stayed a while, Bellamy was having trouble recovering from his actions and the inevitable consequences and Miller had practically begged her to) Octavia wasn't there, presumably with Lincoln at his place. And when Clarke broached the subject in the morning, all she had received in reply was: "Don't talk to me about that jack ass." Clarke doubted Octavia seeing her best friend drawing said jack ass would lift her spirits.

Even now, she was huffing around the room, doing things with a bit more bitterness in her actions, as though her textbooks had punched her boyfriend in a bar.

"Class okay?" Clarke asked tentatively.

"Fine," Octavia replied staring at her book.

She didn't want to talk. Clarke nodded to herself, as she understood that the girl needed time to be angry. Having been cooped up for hours anyway, Clarke grabbed her jacket and her bag and left the room, Octavia only grunting as she said goodbye.

Outside, Clarke tried calling Jasper, Monty and Raven but none of them picked up, and she wished she had more friends. She wasn't exactly an introvert, but she also wasn't the type of girl to have a large friend group, more select intimate ones. Clarke liked her own company, and it wasn't an excuse or a justification, that's just the way it was.

Clarke had one childhood friend. His name was Wells Jaha, and the two of them had been inseparable. Clarke's parents and Wells' father Thelonius were also old friends, and coincidentally neighbours. Every childhood memory that Clarke has, Wells is in it. They kept to themselves when they started school mostly, they didn't need anyone else. Clarke and Wells never grew apart nor fell out tremendously, they told each other everything and thought they would do so forever.

But it wasn't meant to be, and when they were both fourteen, Wells was hit by a speeding car on the way home from school and killed instantly. Clarke had been off sick that day, and Wells' body was found with a crushed box of chocolates. Clarke shut herself in her room for weeks after the funeral, and in that time it was the worst snow storm in recorded history. She watched from her window during the day and listened to the howling winds at night. Clarke found comfort in them, as though they too were mourning the loss of her best friend. She left her room the first day the snow began to melt, the sun peeking through the clouds. Her grief period was spent, though she would never forget Wells, and would think about him every day for the rest of her life.

No, Clarke wasn't an introvert, and she had enough friends to get through her school life, but starting High School without Wells by her side seemed unnatural and wrong. His absence then sent Clarke into another ill-timed abyss, and it meant that she didn't have one _true_ friend since she was fourteen until the day Octavia Blake materialised into her life. Clarke knew loneliness like an old friend, but it didn't mean she liked it.

As she sat on a bench outside in the present day, Clarke contemplated this and it made her think of the one constant in her life: her mother. She remembered how she had rejected her call the previous day and it seized her with guilt. Clarke and Abby Griffin didn't always see eye to eye, but she was her _mother_ and they needed each other. Especially at this time of year.

Abby picked up on the first ring, "_Hello?"_

"Mom, it's me," Clarke greeted.

"_Clarke!_" A fresh surge of guilt came over Clarke at the desperate joy clutching at her mother's tone. "_Sweetie, it's been so long. How are you? How's school?_"

"Everything's fine, mom. I'm doing okay, you know…" Clarke hoped she wouldn't have to voice it.

Her mother sighed, long and sad, "_I know. I'm having a rough time of it, too… Has it really been almost a year?_"

Clarke closed her eyes, hot tears burning her eyelids.

"I miss him so much, mom," Clarke almost whispered.

"_I miss him, too, honey," _Abby's voice was thick.

"It's like… every day, I wake up, and it takes me a few seconds to remember… and when I do…" The tears slide down her cheeks. "It hurts all over again. For that first minute of every day, I feel like I did when they told us. Some days it's unbearable."

"_Me too, honey, me too. If I could spare you that, Clarke, I would,_" Her mom was crying on the other end of the line. That jarred Clarke more than anything else. It was why she rejected her mother's every other call. It was like being at home, drowning in grief, it had felt inescapable.

Unlike when Wells had died, when Jake Griffin died three years later of terminal cancer, Clarke did not hole herself up in her room. Her father's death was not sudden like Wells, it had been expected, though that did not prepare them for the reality of losing him. Jake had made Clarke promise she would not let his death get in the way of her senior year, and she had agreed because she would have done anything for him. She felt his presence all the time, the long nights of studying, graduation, first day of college – heck, even just watching her favourite movie on a weekend.

Clarke missed him with an ache in her heart. It was present every second of every day, and she could always feel it. But sometimes it blossomed and threatened to take control, leaving Clarke sobbing on the floor. The two men in her life had been taken from her within the space of five years. It was perhaps why she connected with Octavia so easily, and to a certain extent, Bellamy. They both understood loss, the way you couldn't put it into words. It just was.

Clarke opened her eyes and rubbed the tears from her face, "I wouldn't want you to, mom. At least I'm remembering him." She took a big sniff and began closing the doors on her mom once more.

"I'm sorry, I really have to go – I'm late for class," She lied, ignoring the guilt flaring in her gut.

"_Oh, okay… well, good luck_," Clarke winced at her mother's forlorn tone. "_I love you, Clarke_."

"And I love you, mom," Clarke replied automatically, but she meant it, and wished she could quit restraining herself from her mother.

Clarke clicked off before Abby could get any more goodbyes in and stood up. She had allotted time for grieving, and that time was up. She had to be strict on herself or it was just all too consuming. Bearing in mind Octavia was mad and Raven, Monty and Jasper were all unavailable; Clarke didn't see the harm in heading to The Ark.

* * *

><p>As it was the middle of the day, the bar was dead. Although after last night's less than sentimental crowd, she wasn't bothered in the least. Clarke now took the time to admire the paintings of space covering the walls and ceilings she had had to skim the previous night. The way the artist had captured the pure <em>depth<em> of outer space made the bar seem a lot bigger than it was, and also kind of took Clarke's breath away. She wondered what it would be like to live in space.

"Not here to cause another fight are you?" The voice of Wick interrupted Clarke's thoughts, and she looked over to the bar where he had just emerged. He winked at her.

"Unless Bellamy intends to fight me-"

"Which I would love to see." Wick jumped in.

"- you can relax. Just here to check up on him," Clarke had wandered over to the bar. "If he's even here." She added as an afterthought.

Wick was looking at her with a knowing grin, "Oh, he's here, don't worry."

Clarke raised her eyebrows, "I wasn't." Technically.

She hopped up on a barstool as Raven had done.

"How long have you known Bellamy exactly?" Clarke asked Wick.

"A few years. I was already at this miserable joint when he turned up. Desperate for money to look after Octavia. After he was appointed her legal guardian at 18, he moved them up here and this was the first job he wasn't rejected from." Wick shrugged and began wiping some glasses. "Of course, I'm sure you know he's been a firefighter almost a year now. But he never ditched us."

Clarke nodded, working hard again to push the firefighter Bellamy out of her mind, "He must work like a dog. How does he have time to turn up to college parties to be overly protective?"

Before Wick could answer, a low voice spoke before him, "I always thought it was endearing."

They both turned to find Bellamy leaning against the door frame, arms folded. He didn't smile, and Clarke sensed the damper mood, but was sure it wasn't directed at her.

"That's romanticising it," Clarke shrugged, trying to keep calm.

"Just call me a romantic," Bellamy pushed away from the door and walked towards herself and Wick. "Princess." He nodded his head at her.

It seemed they were required to wear all black at the bar, and Clarke loathed the way it made Bellamy look really good. She swallowed.

"I was just checking to see if you were okay," Clarke explained.

"How sweet," Bellamy's tone suggested the opposite.

Clarke frowned, unimpressed. They had parted on good terms the night before, Clarke having resolved she'd try and bring Octavia round, though they both knew it would be near impossible at first.

"Will you get in trouble for yesterday?" She asked.

He didn't look up, "No. Wick and Miller will cover for me."

Clarke pulled a face at him which he couldn't see. She didn't get his problem. She exchanged a look with Wick, who was eyeing the situation warily.

"We're saving his ungrateful ass," He jumped in. "Besides, if you hadn't of caused a ruckus, I would never have met your charming little bird friend."

Clarke snorted, "Raven? Charming?"

"You're right, that was a loose definition," Wick paused and Clarke was smiling smugly at him, knowing the next question. She didn't have to wait long: "Is she seeing anyone?"

Clarke laughed, relishing the way girls like Raven made guys like Wick feel like a teenage boy again.

"No," Clarke laughed again at Wick's face lifting, it was too sweet. She did register Bellamy's head finally lifting to look at her, and she turned to look at him.

"What?" Clarke asked him, because as usual, his expression was unreadable as he looked at her. He seemed to be conversing with himself, but he shook his head and then shrugged, "Nothing, Princess."

"Well, aren't you Mister evasive today?" Clarke sighed loudly. There was something off about him.

Bellamy looked away from her again, and she sighed, this time in frustration. She turned to Wick again and asked loudly, "You should ask her out. Raven."

Wick raised his hands, "I was going to ask her out this Friday, but she's not here, apparently."

Clarke frowned, this was news to her, "Really? I didn't know she was going away."

This didn't hurt Clarke, because she knew that Raven was a very secluded person and didn't really run her decisions by anyone. But she did go home every once in a while as her mom tended to be a bit of a loose cannon.

"Maybe you did get blown off," Clarke suddenly smiled, to let Wick know she was teasing him. At this point, a man sauntered into the bar looking like he'd had a rough morning. Wick winked at Clarke before going off to serve him. A palpable silence settled between Clarke and Bellamy.

"Have you heard from Octavia?" Clarke said, but more just to break the tension than anything, as she knew what the answer would be.

Bellamy ran a hand through his hair, and Clarke's mind suddenly decided she'd like to try that someday.

"Nothing," Bellamy looked up at Clarke, and his eyes seemed so _vulnerable_, she didn't break away. "How is she?"

"She's pissed, Bellamy," Clarke said, not unkindly. "What did you expect? All you had to do was be civilised to him."

"I _know_, but how can-" he began, but Clarke cut him off.

"This is not up for debate! You were wrong, I don't care if you don't admit it to me, but you need to tell your sister."

Reluctantly, Bellamy nodded. They lapsed into silence again, but it was not uncomfortable this time. Clarke wondered whether she should breach the subject of Finn to him. She'd been wondering what Bellamy had against him since he'd brought him up last night and it worried her. But then again, she'd witnessed Bellamy flipping out at Lincoln for essentially nothing, so she probably couldn't trust his judgement on this particular topic.

Bellamy seemed to have reached the end of his inner monologue too, and sighed (again. There was a lot of that going around). He looked up at Clarke with a resigned face, she met his gaze with a _you brought this on yourself _one of her own.

Then he surprised her.

"You want a drink?"

Clarke stays at the bar for the rest of the afternoon with Bellamy and Wick, but only drinking sodas, as she had not yet stooped to drinking in the middle of the day. Clarke realised a half hour into hanging around the two men, she actually enjoyed their company. And not just cheeky Wick, but Bellamy's too. He was actually friendly to all the customers in the bar and very almost _charming_. Clarke and Bellamy only snapped at each other a few times, and both realised that they liked the fact that apologies weren't needed. It seemed they had a mutual understanding that bygones would be bygones without saying it.

When she returned to the dorm later, she had three text messages on her phone.

**Octavia Blake**

_Sorry for being so cranky this morning. Idk where you've been all day but I'm at Lincoln's tonight. May be back later. Don't tell Bellamy hahahahahaha….. Love you. X _

Clarke was glad her friend seemed to be in better spirits, but she really didn't think she should tell Octavia that she'd hung out with her brother all afternoon. For her health.

The second was obviously from Wick, they had all hastily exchanged phone numbers before Clarke left the bar. 'Just in case' apparently.

_Remember to put a good word in for me! _

It was funny because he pretended to be joking, but Clarke had seen his face when they talked about Raven, and he'd only met her last night.

The last she looked at for a long time. She had no idea why.

_Don't walk down those dark alley ways, Princess. _

* * *

><p>It was Friday morning. Clarke had been up for <em>hours<em>, full of jittery nerves. Octavia, who didn't have any morning classes on a Friday, complained and burrowed herself deeper in the bed. Clarke narrated her actions as she did them anyway. She made herself three cups of coffee before her first class in their battered coffee maker, and practically skipped all the way there. When Clarke arrived, Jasper and Monty were already there and in their usual seats. They exchanged a knowing glance as Clarke sat beside Jasper, jabbering away about the 'beautiful morning' et cetera. She was alert during her professor's teaching, but at the same time she had a nagging feeling at the back of her mind, reminding her that it was _Friday. _

"So, Clarke," Jasper said as they left the class. "A little excited are we?"

"What makes you say that?" Clarke attempts at nonchalance.

"You're bouncing on the balls of your feet, Clarke, you only do that when we go to your favourite lunch place, but you _know _it's too early for lunch." Monty interjected.

"Alright, Sherlock and Watson!" Clarke protested as Jasper opened his mouth. "I am slightly-" She saw their pointed faces. "I am very excited about this stupid date, okay? Hand cuff me and take me to the pathetic girls' society."

Jasper and Monty both 'awww'd at the same time.

"Don't be ashamed, Clarke! We've seen this Finn guy."

"Even I was tempted."

Clarke allowed herself a grin as they began to walk across campus back to the dorms.

"He is gorgeous, isn't he? I forget how good looking he is until I see him again and it's just so much _better_ than I remember," Clarke gushed, and she rarely gushed.

Jasper and Monty sniggered, "Cool it down over there!" Jasper catcalled.

Clarke was about to shove Jasper – but somebody got there first. A tall man with brown hair flopping in his eyes which contained a malicious glint walked headlong into Jasper, careering his shoulder into him. Jasper staggered back, "What the-" He stopped dead as he spotted the culprit.

The man smirked, "Watch it, Jordan." He continued walking, a certain sickening swagger in his step, as though he owned the campus. Clarke frowned.

"Well, that was rude. Who the hell is that asshole?" Clarke turned back to Monty and Jasper. The latter didn't say anything, just watched his feet.

"That's John Murphy," Monty filled in, the distaste in his voice clear. Jasper shot his friend an annoyed glance, but Monty just shrugged.

Clarke looked between the two of them, "Did he do that on purpose?" She asked slowly.

Jasper took a deep breath and looked up at Clarke with his same old joking face, although moments ago it had looked quite the opposite and this jarred Clarke.

"It's nothing, he's just a regular jackass who can't handle my awesome," Jasper shrugged and began to walk ahead.

Clarke shot Monty a look and they both caught up to him.

"Are you okay, Jasper?" Clarke quizzed.

"I'm fine!" Jasper suddenly snapped. "I can look after myself." He looked at them both measuredly and sped up.

Monty's shoulders slumped and he looked at Clarke pleadingly. They caught up again.

"Okay, okay, you're fine, _swell_, even. But the minute you're not, you'll tell us won't you? At least tell Monty." Clarke bargained with Jasper who nodded absently, his face still joking around but his eyes betraying him.

"Yeah, okay, _mom_," Jasper rolled his eyes. Monty forces a laugh and the three walk ahead as though nothing had happened, and Jasper and Monty begin to bicker about who was Sherlock and who was Watson, but a dark cloud had been cast over Clarke's sunny day. Whoever the hell that Murphy guy was, he distressed Jasper and was for some reason targeting him. Clarke vowed to herself to look into it.

* * *

><p>When Clarke arrived back at her dorm, she found the door to Raven and Monroe's room open, and Octavia looking relieved that she was no longer on a coffee hype. At that moment, Raven came out of the door with her worn travelling backpack slung over one shoulder.<p>

"So, the rumours are true," Clarke said.

Raven grinned, "There are rumours?"

Clarke smiled knowingly, "Wick."

Raven laughed as if in surprise, "The bartender? Huh."

"You went to the bar?" Octavia says suddenly from the doorway.

Clarke opened her mouth, to make up an excuse or say sorry, she had no idea. She was saved by Raven interrupting.

"Whoa! Leave your cat fight until after I'm gone, ladies." Raven engulfs them both in an uncomfortable bear hug, what with the back pack half crushing Clarke's abdomen.

"Your mom?" Clarke asks when they disentangle themselves.

Raven sighed theatrically, "Yes. Duty calls, but I'll be back on Sunday evening, so don't worry." Raven began to walk down the hallway, "No drama while I'm gone!"

Her wild laugh follows her round the corner and Clarke turns to face Octavia, who is already watching her.

"I'm sorry." Clarke said sheepishly.

Octavia shakes her head, and relief seeps into Clarke when her roommate begins to smile, "I don't mind that you went to the bar, Clarke. You probably had your reasons…" Octavia shot her a knowing grin before walking back into their bedroom.

Clarke frowned, following her, "Yes, I did. To pacify the equally as stubborn Blake siblings!"

Octavia sat down in her desk chair and spun around, "Sure. Maybe that's what you're _telling _everyone. Yourself, even." She stopped spinning. "Clarke," She said seriously. "I don't want to see Bellamy's face for a good long while right now, but I never said you couldn't see him."

Clarke tried to study her friend's meaning, but then she began to wonder why she _really _went to the bar in the first place. _Was _it to attempt to mediate their argument? They had barely talked about it and she'd been there for hours. Clarke had addressed in the late hours of last night that she had some sort of pull towards Bellamy. She had no idea whether it had a purpose, if it was a phase, or even what it meant. All she knew was that her emotions seemed charged by ten when she was around him, and he made her question everything she did. She didn't know whether this was all a good thing. When he made her angry, actions and words poured out of her like toxic waste that made even herself shocked. But when he didn't make her angry, he drove her crazy anyway. Clarke didn't like not being able to decipher people, and all he did was shoot her these unfathomable expressions. It was as though he was trying to communicate something with his eyes, but Clarke didn't speak the language.

Either way, she hadn't seen the last of him by a long shot.

* * *

><p>That night, Clarke had lost her frenzy of excitement, and dread drowned her nerves. Finn would probably find her incredibly boring and he'd make an excuse to go. She'd spill her drink or for some unknown reason be sick everywhere. When she voiced these out loud, Octavia just laughed.<p>

"You're just _nervous_, Clarke. It's sort of adorable," She reasoned, but seeing the look on Clarke's face, adapted her tact. "I still get this nervous before I see Lincoln, and I see him all the time now! These butterflies, they're a good thing."

Octavia wanted Clarke to dress up, but Clarke protested she didn't want to look like she was trying _too _hard, to which Octavia reasoned that Clarke's 'not trying too hard' looked like 'I can't actually be bothered'. In the end, they went for Octavia's 'not trying too hard' look: black jeans, a cropped fitted maroon knitted jumper which met the waistband of the jeans perfectly, heeled boots and of course Octavia's free reign of Clarke's make up. All she did was add some dark eye shadows and eye liner and mascara, but Clarke did admit her eyes popped in a really good way. This wasn't like Octavia's union jack make up fiasco, and Clarke had to admit to her friend she loved the smoky eye. Clarke was ready before eight, but Octavia hung around the window so that Clarke would look busy when he arrived.

"Oh my god, he's _here_, quick, _Clarke_ get your nose out of that book please-"

"I thought I had to look busy?"

"The way you're curled up – you look too content, as if you're _actually _busy!"

"Octavia, you're confusing m- ow!"

"Put them on, he'll be at the door any minute-"

"You're pulling my hair-"

"Well if you'd stop _fussing_-"

"I'm fussing? Quit yanking, I said, otherwise-"

"I'm hardly going to rip a chunk out-"

"I'm not so sure!"

"Am I interrupting?"

Clarke and Octavia whipped their heads around to see Finn standing in the door way, and both realised that in their frenzy, neither of them had actually noted that the door was wide open. Clarke shoved Octavia away and the two of them righted themselves, plastering smiles on their faces.

"Finn, hi!" Clarke immediately said and grinned at him, earning a grin in return. "You remember Octavia." She said, nodding at her roommate.

Finn and Octavia exchanged pleasantries as Clarke pulled her jacket and boots on. She practically pulled him out the door and Octavia waved manically at Clarke behind Finn's back.

"That was embarrassing," Clarke commented as they'd rounded the corner.

Finn smiled and Clarke's stomach twisted, "Don't be silly, I don't mind witnessing you and your roommate's cat fighting, it doesn't matter."

Clarke remembered Finn helping her to bed the night she puked at the 'Around the World' party and felt like upchucking again at the mere idea (because of course she didn't _actually _remember it).

"You look lovely, by the way," Finn complimented her and Clarke blushed, trying to keep her cool.

"Thank you," She replied. "Where are we off to, then?"

"Drinks, right? A local bar in town, we can walk there. I hope you don't mind," Finn said, holding the door open for her, so they were outside in the surprisingly warm night.

Clarke said she didn't, and they set off.

It was half way down the street that it hit Clarke. She'd been down this road just the day before, and the evening before that…

"What bar are we going to?" Clarke suddenly asked.

Finn pointed up ahead, "Up ahead, a really cool place I just discovered called The Ark."

Clarke almost choked as she saw the familiar lit up bar. Her heart rate began to thunder and it had nothing to do with the gorgeous boy next to her.

"Oh, really?" Clarke said, her voice an octave higher than usual. "That place? I heard it's awful, some of the staff are a bit temperamental..." Half true.

Finn turned to look at Clarke, "I don't know who you've been talking to, Clarke, but this place is great! I think you'll love it."

Clarke whimpered to herself as Finn set off again, and she pulled a face to the night before scampering after him.

As Finn, ever the gentleman, pulled the door open for her, Clarke was hesitant to make the first step inside.

"Are you okay?" He asked uncertainly.

Clarke looked at him, and he seemed seriously nervous. Her problem was nothing to do with him, and she wished she could tell him that but her reason for not going in The Ark was stupid and suspicious sounding. So Bellamy Blake worked here, who cares? He may not even be working tonight, perhaps he's off at the fire station or taking some girl on a date. If he wasn't working, Clarke found she really hoped it was for the first reason.

_Anyway_.

Here she was with his really great guy who she liked, and he liked her (god knows why), and she was risking it because of Bellamy? It was really idiotic.

Clarke took a deep breath, and stepped into the bar. After a quick scan, Bellamy was nowhere in sight and she breathed a sigh of relief that she quickly disguised as Finn stepped in behind her. As it was Friday night, it was packed full of students and locals alike. Clarke and Finn saw no table, and so they agreed to sit at two stools right at the end of the bar. Clarke's eyes were darting around frantically when she sat down, but she only spotted Miller and some other guy behind the bar.

Finn ordered drinks from the barman who wasn't Miller and turned to face Clarke, whose stomach did a small flip as he looked at her face.

"So, Clarke," He began. "The past couple of times we've met have never really been great for conversation. Tell me about yourself."

Clarke smiled, "Um, okay, wow, suddenly I don't remember anything," Finn laughed. "Okay, I'm a freshman, if you hadn't worked that out already. I study pre-med, but I'm a secret artist. Octavia is my best friend, but we only met this August. That tells you about my general social status. I live about two hours from here with my mom, uh…" Clarke broke off, thinking of things to say.

"Your dad not around?" Finn asked gently.

Clarke looked at the floor, "He, um… died, actually. About a year now."

"I'm sorry," Finn said, and he did look it. Clarke laughed shakily.

"It's not your fault," She joked lamely.

Finn smiled sadly, and the topic moved on.

* * *

><p>About an hour into their date, things had gotten much easier. They were laughing a lot and Clarke found she liked Finn more and more each minute. She had forgotten about Bellamy and was giggling madly at something Finn had said when the barman approached them again. She barely noticed him as he took Finn's order. But then –<p>

"Something for the Princess?" Clarke's heart stopped at that distinctive low voice, and she daren't look at him straightaway. He had sobered her up immediately and she turned to look at him slowly.

"No, thank you," Clarke said calmly, looking into his eyes, desperately communicating _go away!_

To anyone who didn't know Bellamy, he looked practically calm, casually leaning his hip against the bar. And even Clarke, who had barely known the man a week but felt she could read him easier than she could even her own mother, saw the way his arms, though casually at his side, were taut with tension. His eyes regarding the two of them seemed innocent, but they were burning with something that made Clarke not want to look away for a while longer. She signalled him with her eyebrows to get lost.

"do you guys know each other?" Finn interrupted their silent argument.

"No," Said Clarke, at the same time Bellamy said, "Yes."

Clarke sighed and threw Bellamy a reproachful look, "This is Octavia's brother, Bellamy."

Clarke looked back at Finn, and was alarmed to see his face had changed. He was no longer calm and collected, but now looked vaguely uncomfortable, fiddling with his glass.

"Finn," Clarke managed to catch his shifting eyes. "You okay?"

Finn laughed a little too loudly, "Wha-? Oh yeah, I'm great… Nice to meet you, Bellamy."

Clarke watched him worriedly as he quickly nodded at Bellamy, who looked at Finn with obvious disdain. Clarke recognised this look: it was the one Bellamy had given Lincoln just before he'd punched him in the face. His knuckles whitened around the cloth he was holding. She gathered that the two of them had a serious problem with each other, and wondered why Finn was pretending he didn't know Bellamy.

As if right on cue, Clarke's mobile blew up with her ringtone: **RAVEN REYES**.

"I have to take this… I'll be back right away," Clarke hopped off her stool and went to move away, but quickly mimed a very obvious_ cut it out! _to Bellamy, which he saw but did not acknowledge, before walking off.

She answered her phone in the toilets, "Hey, Raven, are you okay?"

"Clarke! Oh my god, I need a favour. My car is completely done for, and I can't get it fixed by tonight because it's so late. I was a third of the way there when I realised it was shot, and so I had to turn back round. Please can I take your car this weekend? I will do anything, I just really need to see my mom," Raven was panicked. This shocked Clarke, and so she immediately agreed.

"My keys are on me, do you want me to meet you?" Clarke asked.

"No, I worked out you aren't at the dorm, where are you?"

"The Ark, I'm by the bar."

"See you in five."

Clarke left the bathroom, now thoroughly harassed. Hearing Raven Reyes panicked meant that things were very bad. So preoccupied with her friend, Clarke panicked when a strong hand flew out and grabbed her arm. She spun around, prepared to defend herself, and could have laughed with relief if Bellamy's face hadn't looked so grave.

"Bellamy! You scared me, don't do that again," She said severely instead.

He ignored this, "You should get out of here, Princess."

"What?" She exclaimed. "What is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem. Finn Collins? He opens up a world of problems."

Clarke sighed in frustration, "This is the second time you've thrown him in my face. _What _did he ever do to you?"

"He hasn't done anything to me," Bellamy's eyes softened, and Clarke was taken aback. "It's what he will do to you."

She stared at him for half a second, her brain buzzing with questions. What was Bellamy on about? Why did he suddenly care about what Clarke did or who she saw? Then she shook her head.

"You're being ridiculous, now move," Clarke looked down to see he was still holding her arm. As if on cue, Bellamy retracted his hand straightaway as though Clarke suddenly burned like fire. As soon as his skin left hers, she felt the absence and the sparks tingling in her arm. But he didn't budge.

"Get out of my way, Bellamy, Raven is coming here and she needs me," Clarke made to shove him.

"What?" Bellamy said sharply. "Raven Reyes is coming _here_? Right now?"

"_yes_, what the hell is wrong with you?" Clarke demanded, but didn't wait for an answer as she slipped past him.

"Clarke!" Bellamy warned but she ignored him and marched back to the bar.

Raven was already there, and actually standing by Finn. Clarke wondered if she was asking for her. But coming closer, she stopped short. Raven had her hands on her hips and appeared to be arguing with Finn, who was on his stool, cowering like a small puppy. God, why did so many people know Finn? And hate him?

She approached the pair of them tentatively. Finn saw her first and his eyes widened to saucers. Raven span around to see what he was looking at. She frowned, confusion on her face.

"Hey, raven, here I'll get my keys right now-" She reached for her purse.

"Clarke?" Raven's tone made Clarke look up at her friend. Her face looked bewildered, uncomprehending and… hurt?

"Raven…?" Clarke said hesitantly.

"Are you," Raven cleared her throat. "Are you… on a date? With… Finn?"

Clarke could see Raven's eyes. They were filled with indignation and possibly hope, too.

Clarke furrowed her brow in confusion, "Uh, yeah, why?" But Raven had let out a whimper and all the hope vanished from her eyes, and they filled with tears she furiously blinked away.

"Raven, I don't-" Clarke began but Raven turned on her.

"You bitch," She said quietly, but the venom in her voice made Clarke step back.

"What?" She asked, not believing her ears.

"Don't 'what' me, Clarke, you heard! You bitch! How could you do this, and then sit here all innocently and try to deny it?"

Clarke opened her mouth but Raven spoke over her, "I thought he was seeing another girl but I had no idea it would be _you_! You live next door to me, how the hell could I have guessed?"

Clarke felt Bellamy come up behind her and for some unbeknownst reason it made her stand up straighter, and filled her with her usual resolution.

"Raven, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Clarke exclaimed, Raven snorted. "No, seriously! What are _you_ on about, 'another girl'? How do you know Finn?"

Raven scoffed as if what Clarke said was unbelievable, "How do I know Finn? Finn Collins? Are you kidding? Finn is my _boyfriend_, you dumb asshole!" Raven looked over her shoulder and spat at Finn, "Well, Ex-boyfriend."

Clarke staggered, and felt a warm hand on her back, "W-what? He's your… you're his…"

Clarke looked desperately at Finn then, but his lack of eye contact just confirmed it. Never in her life had she felt so wretched. Not when her father told her that her best friend in the world had been run over and killed, not when her mother told her that that very same father had died. She had felt like the world was caving in on both of those times, but she had never felt so _awful_.

Clarke had trusted Finn, and Finn had lied. Finn was Raven's boyfriend.

She steeled herself, again feeling her control being restored from the protective hand on her back (which she would no doubt try and fathom later).

"Raven, I had no idea that you and Finn were together. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend at all," Clarke stepped forward. "You have to believe me."

Raven looked up at Clarke, and the way she looked broke her heart, "I have no idea _what _to believe. All I wanted was a car to go and see my mom."

Clarke reached down and pulled her keys out of her purse. She held them out in her hand.

"Then do it."

Raven looked at the keys for a long time without really seeing them. Clarke was offering her a chance to escape this nightmare. Not for very long, but long enough. Whilst Raven Didn't run away, she also couldn't bear the pain of losing it, which she may well do if she stayed. raven grabbed the keys.

She looked over her shoulder at Finn, whose shoulders were slumped, and he looked up at Raven desperately, and if Clarke didn't know before, she knew now that Raven and Finn were together. She ignored the fire starting in her gut.

"Don't call me," Raven deadpanned, before walking out ignoring Clarke and Bellamy.

Finn put his head in his hands. Clarke looked at him and felt sick, as she felt the shame of every time she had gotten butterflies looking at his smile, and the wave of nausea over trying to impress him. She couldn't deal with it at all, and seeing as she'd offered Raven her only escape: She ran.

Clarke sprinted out of the bar and down the street, ignoring every person who was out having a good night with their friends, boyfriends, and girlfriends. She hated them.

She ran until her legs ached and her lungs burned and her ankles were sore from her boots. She stopped under a deserted gazebo in the middle of campus. Clarke heaved in huge breaths and soon they transformed into shuddering gasps as she fought back tears. Finn was not hers to cry over. The night was perfect, but suddenly chilly, as though to match her mood, and she felt like a girl of fourteen again, crying along with the storm as her best friend was buried. She pressed the butts of her palms into her eyes and willed herself to stop.

Clarke sensed his presence before she heard his footfalls.

"Clarke," Bellamy said, but it was more of a whisper, an apology, a promise.

He hesitantly reached out and touched her arm, and it was all she needed without realising. Clarke turned around and fell against his chest. If she were not so upset, she would wonder at how Bellamy was almost tentative as his arms encircled her. The sobs began to wrack her body, and his arms tightened, securing her there. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, and they were making a wet patch on Bellamy's shirt but he either didn't notice or didn't care.

"You're okay, Princess," Bellamy said gently.

Clarke's voice was muffled against his chest and her hands, "I know I am. Why am I crying?"

She felt Bellamy shake, "All the best people cry."

"I bet you don't."

"Well, I'm heartless." He joked.

Clarke sighed, "If you had asked me three days ago, I would have agreed."

"Thanks, Princess."

"But you're not." Clarke continued. "I can feel it beating right now."

Clarke felt so calm there with him that she actually closed her eyes. Despite how awful her evening had turned out to be, she could at least have a small smile because she knew, and so did he, that she'd punched a little hole through his wall. She could admit to herself in the dark, when they were so isolated, that she liked him like this. But then there was the Bellamy who deliberately withheld information from her. Important information.

"You knew Finn had a girlfriend. You knew about Raven," Clarke said suddenly and she felt him tense. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Princess…" He said slowly.

"Don't," Clarke pulled away from him and immediately regretted it. But she held her ground. "Why wouldn't you tell me something like that?"

He folded his arms, "It wasn't my business."

Clarke's eyes widened dangerously, "That is a pathetic reason. You were clearly dying to tell me but you didn't."

Bellamy looked away, "I tried to warn you!"

"_Warn_ me? You call those vague and confusing statements warnings?" Clarke countered.

"I could tell you liked him, I didn't want to be that guy."

"That guy?" Clarke said incredulously. "You mean the guy who does the right thing and tells someone when she's being scammed so obviously?"

"Oh, come on, Princess," Suddenly the nickname had lost its comfort of before, and was bitter. "You would never have believed me."

Clarke could see him building his wall back up, and a part of her wanted to tear it down quickly before he shut himself off again. But she was Clarke, and he was Bellamy.

"You're right," She spat. "I trust you about as far as I can throw you."

Bellamy's upper lip curled, "What did I tell you about naïve freshmen?"

Clarke threw her hands up, "I don't know why you even half way bothered. You clearly don't care at all."

"Why would I?" Bellamy yelled.

Clarke had no answer. And if she did, she would never have said it aloud. Neither of them dared to think about the insinuated reply. Clarke found herself fighting tears again, though for a completely different reason than before.

She swallowed, anxious to get out of there before she did or said something stupid, "Get lost, Bellamy. I don't need your pity or whatever it is you're trying to do."

Bellamy surveyed her for a long and sad ten seconds, as though he wanted to say something else, but his vulnerable face went blank and he turned on his heel and walked away. Clarke watched him go.

She walked back to her dorm alone, not bothering to wipe the fresh tear tracks from her face.

* * *

><p>"Raven, it's me. Please call me as soon as you can. We need to talk, but I understand if you need some time. I'll be waiting." Clarke hung up, leaning her head back against the wall.<p>

She'd come home to find Octavia, Monty and Jasper watching 'The Proposal' movie, all squashed up in Octavia's bed. They'd all looked up excitedly when she came in, but their faces dropped once they saw her tear marked face. She didn't correct them when they assumed they were because of Finn, it was partly true.

After a long haul of "what a dick", "I hated him anyway" and "you're too good for him", Clarke had escaped to their tiny toilet room to call Raven and collect her head. Clarke was now just angry at Finn for using her and breaking one of her closest friend's hearts. The hatred was raw and she didn't know how she'd ever get rid of it, but mostly she was spooked by her fight with Bellamy. She knew they had a 'no apology' principal developing, but she was ashamed to admit all she wanted to do was say sorry. She was still pissed off that he had never told her, but honestly, he probably had a hundred and one reasons and he wasn't exactly an open book. Clarke forced herself not to think about their hug, with his strong arms wrapped around her, making her feel actually okay after everything that had just occurred. She was confused and had no idea how she'd ever work up the nerve to bump into him again. Whether she was mad or not, she knew she had to see him again.

With a big sigh, Clarke exited the tiny bathroom and shoved Jasper over so she could sit with them in the bed, resting her head on his shoulder. 'The Proposal' was one of Octavia's favourite movies, and they'd watched it four times already this semester, meaning that Clarke knew it very well. She hated this, because it meant that she had time to notice that Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock really didn't get along at the beginning of this movie, but after spending time together properly, they realise that they don't hate each other at all. Quite the opposite. And it struck a chord too close to home with Clarke.

Later, when the movie was almost finished, and Ryan Reynolds had chased Sandra Bullock all the way back to New York from Alaska to tell her he loved her, Clarke's phone buzzed. She fumbled for it quickly, hoping to have received word from Raven.

What she saw made her heart falter pathetically, and a smile spread across her face so big she was glad it was dark and Jasper's eyes had drooped closed.

**Bellamy Blake**

_I realise maybe you didn't get the message I was trying (but failed) to say. I'm sorry, Princess. _

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I** would firstly like to say, I do not hate Finn Collins – I actually love him a lot. But I had to make him a pathetic dick in this because I needed "The Other Guy". Also, I am sorry that Wells and Jake Griffin are dead in this story as well, but I am trying to build a Clarke who has lost just as much as Bellamy.**

**This was a lot longer than my other chapters but I love them this way. Also, I made you wait like, over a week for this one so you deserved these 8k or something words. I am sorry I wasn't as punctual as I usually am, turns out I have other really important commitments being in my last year of college, weird huh? **

**The song I used for the title of this chapter is 'The Words' by Christina Perri, it's great and very bellarke. **

**Shoutout to zara, Leppy99, 1234grace, Freja barnes, thunderatic and of course all the anons who have reviewed! Your reviews keep me writing, so keep them coming! I am so glad you love the story, and I love it when you write specific stuff, that shit is heart-warming. **

**Next chapter is Bellamy POV! So excited to get into that brilliant man's head. **

**Be brave, **

**Caragon x**


	6. Part Of Me

**Here we go again! Sorry updates are suddenly weekly, I don't intend to keep that up, I have just been REALLY busy and I have mock exams this week (yet I'm updating this for you – procrastination). **

**What the heck was 'Survival of The Fittest' episode?! Omg, such a Bellarke episode and then bam Clarke breaking Bell's heart at the end there, but she doesn't mean it. Also, I am TERRIFIED for Bellamy in 'Coup de Grace' my baby! Prayer circle? **

**Chapter title credits to the song 'Part of Me' by Neck Deep, brill bellarke song. **

Chapter Six

**Part of Me**

_By caggiewrites_

[I like her 'cause she's smart,  
>headstrong and independent,<br>She puts me in my place,  
>But I don't know where I stand<br>- Neck Deep]

Bellamy used to wake up whenever he felt like it. He used to skip class and partake in petty thievery from corner stores. He smoked like a steam engine and blew up at anyone who didn't agree with him. He was an idiot.

The Blakes didn't grow up in the best neighbourhood in town, and it was all Bellamy could do to keep his younger sister out of the usual gang conflicts. When he wasn't riding his motorcycle over the speed limit, he was making spaghetti hoops for Octavia, even when she complained that she wasn't a child anymore. Their mom worked three jobs and Bellamy secretly thought she wouldn't hang around the house if she could anyway. She was a sad woman, he could see that. Even Octavia gave up on asking for bedtime stories one day, and Bellamy took over.

Some nights Bellamy would understand their mother; her life was a far cry from the one she'd planned. She was Octavia if Octavia had never had Bellamy. Bellamy would agree with her silently from his room when he heard his mom crying still, after all this time, about their father who she had married against the wish of her parents who left her after Octavia was born anyway. Bellamy was almost sure his parents were still married, since the scumbag never came back for a divorce.

But then there were usually nights that Bellamy did not understand their mother at all. He agreed she had been dealt a tough deck but he didn't see why she couldn't shoulder her pain like the rest of the world did. He would get angry when his mom blatantly ignored Octavia asking her to sign her school report. He accused her of being just as neglectful as their dad, and that she was a better mother to drugs and alcohol. Those were the sort of words left swirling around Bellamy's head years later.

Something Bellamy had never understood at the beginning was the day he came home from not going to school when he was sixteen and found the police and a handful of nosy neighbours crowded round his tiny house. Being Bellamy, he pushed past them and thundered up the stairs, his heart slowly turning to lead and sinking all the way down to his stomach.

His mother – or rather his mother's frail body, his mother was long gone – laying on her side as though she were sleeping. Next to her, her favourite wine she said she would save until the day Bellamy or Octavia got married for their wedding toast, and an empty bottle of pills. Bellamy had blinked slowly at first but then furiously, as though trying to blink the image out of his eyes. Pain like he had never known had threatened to tear through his skin and leave him empty like the pill bottle. He staggered back, not daring to look at his mother again, and stumbled back down the stairs, pushing the same people he had in his haste to get to his mom.

Bellamy tore out of the house and set off on his motorcycle, faster than he should have with so many police around. He drove so fast that the wind screamed in his ears and burned tears in his eyes, but he just propelled himself further, at least it meant he couldn't hear his own thoughts. He didn't want to know what he was thinking right then.

He had stopped on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere and yelled obscenities in an attempt to rid himself of the pain clawing into his brain and heart. _My fault?_

Nobody had felt survivors' guilt as much as Bellamy did right then. He could feel it uprooting the foundation of who he had been as a teenager, and a new version of himself was being cemented already. Bellamy could have stayed there forever.

But he didn't, there was someone he had to go back for. That he would always go back for: Octavia.

To his fury and anguish, it was over a year until Bellamy could become Octavia's legal guardian. They were put into separate children care homes and didn't see one another more than twice for a whole year. It was the worst year of Bellamy's life, as his life was worthless without her. But it did give him time to think, and he forged a plan to turn his life around so he could salvage Octavia's. On the day of his eighteenth birthday, he was out of that home and began the transaction to become his sister's guardian. They moved upstate, and Bellamy began working several different jobs to pay Octavia's way through high school and eventually college. She complained sometimes that she felt like baggage, to which Bellamy had told her severely that she was _not_ baggage, that she was the most important thing in his life and would be treated so. Even so, he let her get a little job in a diner at sixteen to pacify her worries.

Octavia's graduation had been the proudest day of Bellamy's life, and though he would never admit it, he definitely had teary eyes. He'd spent a little extra money they couldn't afford on a dinner in a fancy restaurant to celebrate and the next day began working laboriously to save every penny they could for the local college.

So now Bellamy gets up no later than ten minutes after his alarm, because he can't afford to run late to either of his jobs. He lives by himself in the small but sweet apartment he had brought with Octavia. He was ridiculously happy to have become a firefighter a year ago, but didn't leave the bar just because he liked it there and he liked to be busy anyway. He still blew up at people for no particular reason on occasion but he didn't smoke at all.

The only one thing that had never changed was Octavia. She would always be the most important person in his life, and he would take care of her with everything he had until he died and hopefully after. Perhaps that was why he despised Lincoln so much. Not so much _him_, but the idea of Octavia depending on someone else. It was jealousy, but it was sadness too. He wondered who he was if Octavia didn't need him.

Apart from… now, he had a new person in his life he just couldn't shake. It was not like he'd tried either, and she had made no attempt to distance herself from him.

* * *

><p>It had been a month since he'd first talked to Clarke on the phone. He had been in a foul mood and was just looking for Octavia, but didn't anticipate his sister's roommate calling him out on it.<p>

_"That bad of a day for you to be such a dick to someone you don't even know. Or is this cheerful for you?"_

Bellamy had been so shocked to hear these words that he hadn't been able to form a witty come back quick enough. He imagined the girl Octavia described feeding him these lines. His sister had warned him she was sharp as a knife but hearing it was something else entirely. Bellamy was almost impressed. Then alarmed at himself. So he stunted the thought and was cruel to cover it up.

Later that night, he'd literally bumped into her at the ridiculous national party suave. He'd only gone because he'd received a text from Octavia that was almost illegible considering all that money he'd spent on English tutoring. Bellamy still maintained he wasn't being possessive, he just wasn't busy and decided to check up on her. He should have known it was Clarke when he bumped into her, as he'd lent Octavia the money to get a ton of pointless and absurd United Kingdom merchandise for the party, just like the dress Clarke was wearing.

He had noted that she was cute, especially the way she was rubbing her head. It didn't hurt that she was pretty and blonde and his sister had brought her a dress at least one size too small. Any clumsy persona picked up on in those first three seconds vanished once she realised who he was. Clarke's face had transformed into one that looked like it was made of marble and most importantly – unimpressed. Bellamy quite enjoyed the way her sharp tongue endeavoured to cut him in half, but she was too self-righteous. Little did he realise that Clarke had pretty much come to the same conclusion about him.

She had caught up with him later that night, completely sloshed and angry.

"Oh, look, it's Bellamy Blake!" Clarke said mockingly.

Bellamy surveyed her. He honestly had no idea whether to walk away, be rude or just laugh.

"Alright, Princess?" He said apprehensively, raising his eyebrows when she seemed to stumble standing still.

"I was," She said indignantly. "But then I saw that you were still here."

He folded his arms, commenting sarcastically, "That stings."

Clarke cocked her head, then place her arms on her hips and put on her deepest voice, "_I'm Bellamy Blake and I'm going to saunter around college parties perhaps being obsessive about my sister or maybe picking up chicks. The world will never know_."

"No, Princess, you'll never know. Because you won't remember this in the morning," Bellamy sighed.

Clarke stepped up to him then, her inebriated state forgetting space awareness and getting too close to his face. She smelt good, which was odd, seeing how drunk she was.

"Don't call me Princess," She said, and Bellamy was surprised at the menace in her voice.

"Yes, Princess," He smirked. She narrowed her eyes, exhaling slowly and Bellamy was thinking about an entirely different state of intoxication as their breath mingled.

"You think you're smart," Clarke whispered.

"So do you."

She stared at him then, right in the eyes. She was quite a bit shorter than him, so she had to look up which made her eyes look hooded and mysterious. Bellamy had earlier acknowledged her good looks, but her eyes were a completely different concept. They were blue, open and wide and her lashes curled slightly at the ends. Bellamy didn't really look into people's eyes, he had only ever really glanced. But right now he was looking, and he felt something, he had no clue what, but something.

But then Clarke stumbled and to stop her falling Bellamy reflexively reached out and grabbed her elbow. She smiled at him sarcastically once she realised what had happened, but there was a glint in her eye that made Bellamy almost smile back.

"My knight in shining armour." Clarke raised an eyebrow. "That's what Princesses like isn't it?"

Before Bellamy could answer, a boy popped out of nowhere, followed by Clarke's two male friends and his own sister. But Bellamy barely glanced at Octavia, because his eyes were narrowed on Finn Collins. He had to bite back a snarl when Finn grabbed Clarke's hand.

"Clarke! We thought we'd lost you!" Finn said over dramatically and Clarke snorted.

"Not lost," She replied, then looked over at Bellamy. "Just accosted."

Bellamy rolled his eyes, attempting to disguise his disgust for the other man, "I think you accosted me, Princess."

"Whatever, Blake. I'd only accost you to tell you how annoying you are." Clarke shrugged in nonchalant manner.

The others stifled laughter. Bellamy raised his eyebrows at her as if to say, is that so?

Clarke nodded exuberantly, "I'm serious! You seriously bug me. And then the fact that you're hot doesn't help, it makes it worse. Your hotness bugs me even more."

This time the rest of the group didn't hide their laughter, shaking their heads, Octavia was smirking at Bellamy.

Bellamy nodded his head in mock sincerity, "Well, Princess, you are just full of compliments tonight. You let me know how hot you think I am any time of day." He then noticed Finn's grip on Clarke's hand tugging her away as she looked up at Bellamy smirking, appearing not to notice Finn.

"Or night." Bellamy finished pointedly, looking at Clarke then glancing at Finn, who was glaring at Bellamy but looked away when their eyes met. Their friends howled with mirth and began elbowing Clarke, who let herself get juggled around but kept watching Bellamy. He felt a cord of a million electric bolts between them and though he didn't want to, began backing away. Nobody noticed the wink he dropped her before turning away. Only glancing back to see Clarke finally having succumbed to a blush.

Octavia had complained that Bellamy was gross for flirting with Clarke, to which he told her that he was just joking around to humour her. However, not five minutes later Octavia began asking Bellamy's opinion of her roommate in the union jack dress.

* * *

><p>It was Saturday night, and Bellamy was working his usual shift at the bar. Like clockwork, at 5pm he heard the door swing open emitting the cold and Clarke Griffin. He could tell it was even colder outside because she was clad in jeans and a knitted jumper under her usual blue duffel coat. She had taken to visiting several times a week just to hang out. Occasionally she'd bring Monty or Jasper and had attempted to persuade Octavia a few times to no avail. But usually she'd come by herself, ready to rant about work or a professor or the weather, or she'd just come to laugh and have some company. Clarke had learned to bring a book for when all of the bartenders were busy and she refused to buy an alcoholic drink before 6pm.<p>

Clarke slid onto a stool in the middle of the bar and drummed her fingers on the worktop. Though he'd noticed her as soon as she'd walked in the door, Bellamy pretended to just see her and nodded at her before bending down to grab some glasses.

"Clarke Griffin!" Came the usual over the top sing song baritone of Wick as he walked over to her.

"Hey Wick," Clarke smiled at his antics.

"How's my favourite little freshman?" Wick leaned his elbows on the bar and Bellamy looked over, snorting.

He handed a drink to the customer and walked over to the pair of them, "Why are you such an ass lick, Wick?"

Wick rolled his eyes as if this was obvious, "Well, someone has to compensate for how much of a dick you are."

"Funny," Bellamy deadpanned, but looked over at Clarke to see her grinning, flicking away his eyes when she met them. Wick was called by a customer and he left. Bellamy cleared his throat, "Something to drink?"

"Vodka shot, please," Clarke said in a sweet tone and Bellamy's head snapped up.

She was laughing, "I'm kidding! Just wanted you to actually look at me, I mean, is there something on my face?"

Bellamy shook his head and adopted his usual confident persona, "Yes, your nose, your eyes, your mouth…" At this, Bellamy's eyes flitted down to the latter but he looked at her eyes again just as quickly.

"Wow, I don't know why you're a fireman, Bellamy, you're funny enough to be on the stage," Clarke said, her tone dripping with sarcasm, apparently having noticed nothing.

Bellamy chuckled and she asked him about his day.

They had a routine now, and every day it was easier. Well, easier in the way he could talk to her like he'd known her for much longer than a month, that's for sure. But every time he saw her created a whole new plethora of problems. Lately, he found himself noticing everything she did and practically cataloguing it in his brain. She had habits like tucking her hair behind her ears all the time, even if it was already tucked there. She played with the hem of her sleeves when she was upset and flailed her arms about when she was angry. When she laughed, her nose crinkled right on the bridge and she always carried a pencil. Bellamy had just gotten good at reading her, and he thought Clarke was pretty good at reading him too. Though they didn't always get along, Bellamy and Clarke were a good team. They couldn't get through one hour without disagreeing on something but bygones really were bygones in five minutes.

Bellamy decided that he thought about Clarke so much only because he didn't know that many other people. He had Octavia, and close friends like Wick and then Clarke in an entirely new category of her own. She infuriated him with some of the things she said but sometimes he would turn over something she had said that day in his mind a thousand times because she used her words as a tool, and a powerful one.

Bellamy leaned against the bar absently wiping glasses clean as he watched Clarke banter with Wick. She used sarcasm and her intelligence to make Wick stumble over his words and indefinitely lose whatever petty quarrel they were having. When she laughed, it completely changed her eyes, and he would have said it made them sparkle if he was that sort of guy. Bellamy often had to remind himself that Clarke was the same age as his sister. He marvelled at how he saw Octavia as a young girl yet he viewed Clarke as an independent woman. Of course he knew that Octavia was just as headstrong as her friend, but his big brother mind was biased.

"Bellamy," Clarke said now and snapped him out of his reverie. He focussed on her to see she was looking at him with an amused smile, her eyebrows raised. "You were staring at me."

Bellamy jumped up from his lounging position and tried to make himself look busy, "Just zoned out, sorry."

"Tell us about that zone, man," Wick's tone was smug and as Clarke looked back down at her phone he winked, to which Bellamy promptly threw the dishcloth he was holding at Wick's head.

Laughing, Wick picked up the towel and walked down the other end of the bar. Bellamy headed out to change a barrel, muttering to himself.

What did Wick know? With his tone of voice and facial expressions, constantly gesturing Clarke and dropping stupid hints. Clarke Griffin was his little sister's roommate, for Christ's sake, and he was a twenty-three year old man with a crummy little apartment that would be no match for the types of guys Clarke would meet as a Doctor. He had to get rid of these uneasy feelings whenever she was around and just act normal. But, just as he came to this conclusion, her smiling face popped into his head and he sighed.

* * *

><p>Bellamy had wanted to tell Clarke about that slime ball Finn, but he let it slide the night of the party because he assumed that Finn would not dare pursuing Clarke again. Bellamy only knew of Finn Collins because the boy's father was put in charge of Bellamy when he started at the fire station. Finn would constantly turn up at the place, asking to help out or just being a general nuisance, sometimes bringing Raven Reyes along with him. Finn's father complained about Finn not having gone to college for no good reason, and Bellamy swore he was fonder of Raven than he was his own son. Thinking about Raven and the fire station made Bellamy uncomfortable even though no one could see what he was thinking, but he tried to avoid that night in his thoughts, especially now.<p>

Bellamy didn't particularly care about Clarke's relationship status but he felt a duty of care to any girl Octavia's age getting scammed by no good guys. He probably would have been a no good guy himself if his mother hadn't died so suddenly. Bellamy at least made sure that himself and the girl he was with were on the same page, and was certain the next day when he saw Finn that the younger boy did not. Bellamy seethed when he saw Finn in the bakery the day after the party as he picked up breakfast on his way to the station. He hid behind a stack of sugar donuts and waited for him to leave, but couldn't help but overhear the last part of Finn's conversation with the baker.

"…this isn't all for me, I promise!" Finn raised his hands as if to say he wasn't guilty as the baker laughed. Bellamy rolled his eyes. "My girlfriend eats twice as much as me, honestly, and she had a party last night so…" Finn raised his eyebrows as if that concluded his sentence.

"Ah, are you still with the young lady who you pre-ordered that giant cookie for? What was her name… Lark?" Bellamy's head shot up in alarm as he initially misheard the baker.

"Close! Raven," Finn replied. Bellamy scoffed, but stifled it into a cough.

"Ah, yes, I knew it was a bird! Well, I hope she doesn't take her 'day after' mood out on you, son!"

Finn left the bakery shortly afterwards, but Bellamy had heard enough. He paid the baker and left also, but stopped dead outside. Across the street were his sister, Clarke, and their two friends Monty and Jasper, sitting outside the café, soaking up the sun and talking. Bellamy would've gone over to check up on Octavia and get on Clarke's nerves but as he watched, Octavia called out, and Bellamy followed her gaze to see Finn making his way towards them. Bellamy watched as Finn openly flirted with Clarke and his eyebrows knit together. A few minutes later, Finn headed in the direction of the dorms and Bellamy would have bet his life on who Finn was going to see.

So Bellamy knew that Finn was still with his girlfriend Raven, and he should have somehow let Clarke know but he just didn't want to involve himself. It was painful to hear about how much Clarke liked Finn from Octavia when he knew what he knew, but telling Clarke would raise questions and insinuate that he cared about her, which he didn't. He barely knew her. And, yet.

And, yet.

And, yet, he had no idea.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey, this is Octavia, leave me a message and I'll call you back if I care enough.<em>" Bellamy looked up at Clarke who was watching him sleepily from the other side of the bar, her chin in her right hand. "Answering machine." He explained.

"So leave a message," Clarke said simply.

Bellamy sighed, "O, it's me, Bellamy. I haven't called in a while…" He broke off, realising he had no idea where to begin. Clarke nodded her head encouragingly: "Go on," she whispered.

He cleared his throat, "Look, I know I haven't even tried to call you in a while, but I didn't want the embarrassment of you hanging up. But we need to talk, I, uh, I miss you, O. Please call me when you get this. Please." He turned away from Clarke as he hung up, overwhelmed with how much he wanted to hear his sister's voice.

It was just past midnight, and Bellamy's shift had officially ended seven minutes ago. Clarke had stayed the whole night, talking to them when they were free, reading a thick book the rest of the time. Occasionally, she joined in the banter with customers, and Bellamy would smile at how easily she fit in, that being so different to them didn't faze her. Clarke had taken to doing this the past few weekends when Bellamy was around, claiming she "actually got more reading done here than I would at the dorm". At the end of the night, they usually rounded back to Octavia, and Clarke would try and bully him into calling which hadn't worked until tonight.

"Hey," She said softly. He turned back, willing his eyes not to water. She looked sort of proud. "You made the first step, that's good."

Bellamy sniffed and nodded in reply. He shoved his phone in his pocket and looked around trying to clear his head, "You ready?"

Clarke lifted her head up off her hand and grabbed her jacket, "Beyond ready."

This was also a customary part of their new routine. The first late night that Clarke had stayed at the bar, Clarke had tried to leave twenty minutes before Bellamy's shift ended, much to his disapproval.

"Wait a measly twenty minutes, Princess, and I'll walk you home."

"No way! I'm a big girl, I don't need you to hold my hand."

"Who said anything about hand holding? Girl germs." Bellamy grinned.

"I'll be fine, Bellamy," Clarke rolled her eyes.

"You're a Princess and I'm a gentleman," Clarke snorted at this. "Humour me." Really it was because he would hate if some guy left Octavia to walk home alone on a dark night, and he think Clarke understood this, so eventually she relented.

Now they walked in comfortable silence on the sidewalk as they usually did. Bellamy thought about Octavia, and how Clarke's tiredness affected her ability to walk in a straight line so she kept meandering near him and brushing his arm.

"I think this is my favourite time of the day," Clarke said suddenly.

Bellamy looked over and put his hand on his heart in mock sincerity, "I'm touched, Princess."

She raised an eyebrow at him before gesturing upwards, "Yeah, _right_. I mean, this," she waved her arms wildly about and Bellamy couldn't help but chuckle. "There's hardly anyone about – not counting the random drunkard – and I don't know, it's just so… still. I feel peaceful, do you?"

He knew what she meant completely, but it seemed so un-Bellamy-like to admit that in this tranquil air, "It's hard to be at peace when you're around, Princess, I never know when you're going to blow up at me."

"Ever heard of the expression, 'the pot calling the kettle black'?" Clarke flashed him a fake smile.

"Heard of it."

"Apply it."

Bellamy chuckled again and he noticed Clarke smiling at the sound. They were silent again.

"Do you think Octavia will come around before Thanksgiving?" Bellamy broke it this time.

He could see her nod in his peripheral vision, "Yes. When you apologise for being a crazy person and give Lincoln a chance she'll forgive you in a heartbeat."

"You think?" Bellamy looked at her, aware of how much he needed Clarke's reassurance.

She met his eyes with real kindness in her own, "She hates this as much as you." Clarke pretended to pull out her hair. "You're just both so _stubborn_!"

"Aw, Princess. Are you going to start asking for payment for being the Blake family therapist next?" Bellamy cooed.

"You know what," Clarke said indignantly. "I might do just that. Been looking for a job."

"Why don't you apply to the Ark?" Bellamy suggested before he could process the words.

Clarke looked up at him, as though surprised, "Really?"

Bellamy tried to regain his casual attitude, "Yeah, I guess, I mean, you spend the same amount of time there as an employee anyway."

Clarke shrugged, "True. Put in a good word for me, Blake?"

Bellamy smirked, "Your life in my hands."

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Did they teach melodrama as a compulsory class at your high school?"

"I passed with flying colours."

"I could have guessed."

They came to a stop as they reached the dimly lit entrance to the dorms.

Another drill that seemed to have become part of their new late night routine was this. A silence that was very different from the ones walking home that were so natural, Bellamy could feel the charge like an electric fence buzzing between them. Bellamy and Clarke looked at each other and smile and nod, as though expecting the other to say something else, and perhaps half expecting themselves to blurt something out but neither of them ever did. Clarke always blushed in these moments and it does things to Bellamy's stomach.

"Night, Bellamy," Clarke said eventually, and turned away to the doors.

"Goodnight, Princess," Bellamy automatically replied.

Just before she let the door swing shut behind her, Clarke turned her head to look at him over her shoulder, golden hair flicking about her eyes, and flashed a grin that took control of Bellamy's muscles and forced him to respond in kind.

The door swung shut and Bellamy was left alone in the still night. Clarke was right, it was possibly his favourite time of day too, but his reasons were all muddled up.

Just before turning to walk away, he caught sight of someone in a second storey window. If it hadn't of been Octavia, Bellamy would never have known whose outline that was watching him. Although he couldn't see, he could tell her eyes were looking into his and he wondered what she thought. About him. About him walking Clarke Griffin home.

The light flicked on in the window, signalling that Clarke had arrived, and Octavia shut the curtains. Bellamy sighed, praying that his sister could forgive him for being himself.

Bellamy usually watched crappy TV when he got home from a late shift, but tonight, like several nights recently, he didn't need the distraction. Clarke, true to her nature, kept barging into his head, and Bellamy wondered just what it meant if he didn't mind thinking about her all night long.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello! I really hope you all like Bellamy's POV, I loved writing it, but I don't know whether you'll like the change. Let me know if you liked it, and maybe if you want to see any other's characters POVs? In the mean time I'll be back to Clarke, but now I'm thinking about doing some dual perspective chapters between Clarke and Bellamy. **

**This was such a Bellarke chapter, which we all love, but don't worry, Raven will be back next chapter along with some Jasper, Monty and of course Octavia! **

**THANK YOU so much for reviewing PalmTreesAtMidnight, AyannaIvanova, vulnera-sapientia, wantingandwaiting, thunderatic, ELSchaaf, sydcasy, 1234grace, citigirl13, FrejaBarnes, Leppy99 (thanks about the title compliment, I made it up myself!), TMIshadowhunter25, BellaClara, Musicluver225, BellarkeLover, kc51102 and The High Warlock! Your reviews keep me writing so PLEASE review! Your kind words mean a lot. **

**Remember to smile,**

**Love always, **

**Caragon x**


	7. I Can't Fall Back on You

**GUYS! The bellarke radio conversation in 2x11 holy cow I am so happy they are SO IN LOVE. **

**I wanted to post this yesterday but the server was mucking around so boo get it sorted out. **

**Enjoy this one, lads. **

Chapter Seven

**I Can't Fall Back on You**

_By caggiewrites_

"Do you want to do something this weekend? I feel like I've been studying twenty four hours a day this week," Octavia flung her pen down on the desk, stretching her arms above her head.

Clarke snorted without looking up from her own desk, "You're asking me now? Usually you just drag me out by the hair."

Octavia looked over at Clarke, as if deciding what to say, "You know, you go out a lot more than you used to…"

Clarke tried not to look guilty, which was pointless seeing as they both knew Octavia knew where she spent most of her time outside the dorm room and class. She changed tact, "You're so hard to please, Blake!"

Octavia smiled at the sudden shyness that had overcome her roommate. She was not a moron, and had seen Clarke go off to the bar her brother worked at plenty of times, as well as being asked to go herself. It was sweet, and Octavia kept biting her tongue until the appropriate moment to say: _I told you so!_

She shrugged, "Whatever, I'm not your mom, do you what you like in your spare time."

"Agh, crap," Clarke suddenly said and stopped typing to put her face in her hands. "Speaking of my mom…"

"You know I love to. What's up?"

Clarke suddenly felt very hot and reactively pulled at the hems of her sleeves, "This weekend… it's… my father died a year ago."

Octavia immediately got up out of her chair and sat on the edge of Clarke's bed, putting her hand on her friend's arm in comfort.

"She wants me to go home but I – I can't. I know she needs me but, every time I go back to that house it's like he's just died all over again and I forget how to be _me_. I'm a shadow of his daughter in that house. My mom keeps up this faux smile whenever I'm around and I kind of just want to shake her and say that it's okay that her heart is broken." Clarke met Octavia's sad eyes. "Am I awful for thinking that?"

Octavia took Clarke's hands and said determinedly, "Not even a little bit. Grief is a necessary part of losing someone, but you have to let grief go eventually; forget the 'what if' and remember what was." Clarke sniffed back tears and Octavia's grip tightened. "You have deal with this the way you need to. Your mom might not understand, sure, but it affects us all in different ways, and she'll understand that."

Clarke nodded but couldn't stop the sob escaping from her chest and Octavia pulled her into a tight hug.

And that was it. Clarke texted her mom late Thursday night to confirm she wasn't coming home to which her mother replied far too sprightly and Clarke's heart clenched but she didn't change her mind. Clarke felt like she had abandoned her mother but she also felt that going home to a place that reeked of Jake Griffin would only set Clarke back and she wasn't sure she was strong enough to endure that kind of pain again.

Jasper and Monty dropped in with pizza not long after that, where they talked and laughed. Raven came up but once they all summarised that she had returned none of their calls and Clarke's face had begun to crumple, they moved on. The four of them played different card games until late, discovering that Octavia and Jasper were the biggest cheats in the world.

"It's not _cheating_, Clarke, it's called using your initiative," Jasper reasoned.

Clarke stuck her fingers in her ears, "Every time you open your mouth all I hear is _cheat_!"

"And if it was using your initiative," Monty added smartly. "You'd have at least won by cheating."

All four of them laughed and decided that Jasper and Octavia's punishment was to head out into the chilly night to buy more sodas (they had class in the morning!). Once they were gone Clarke and Monty argued about the outcome of their latest assignment until Monty lapsed into silence.

Clarke eyed him worriedly, "Monty, you okay?"

Monty looked up at her nervously, apparently having an internal battle with himself.

"Come on, Mont, what's wrong?" Clarke shuffled closer to him.

"It's Jasper," Monty blurted out. "That guy Murphy is getting worse and Jasper keeps brushing it off!"

Clarke frowned in recognition, "Murphy? That jerk who shoved Jasper like a month ago?" Her heart sunk. Hadn't she vowed to help? She hadn't even given Jasper and this bully a second thought and Clarke felt ashamed for being such a lousy friend.

Monty nodded, "I don't know why he's targeted Jasper but he has, and you can't ask Jasper about it, he just clams up."

"How does Jasper even know this creep?"

Monty shrugged, "We first saw him at the countries party here, he was being a bit of an idiot but nothing happened between him and Jasper. But…"

"But what?" Clarke pressed.

"Jasper and I got separated for about an hour. We were sitting in that girl Roma's room and Jasper went to go get us some refills. I didn't see him again for fifty minutes."

Clarke and Monty shared a grave look, "You think something happened then?"

"I have no idea, but it's the best reason I can come up with," Monty slumped against the bed.

"Monty," Clarke said determinedly. "We're going to help him."

The two nodded resolutely at each other, an unspoken promise to help their best friend. And Clarke wouldn't forget this time.

Just then, the door banged open, admitting Octavia and Jasper himself. The two of them were merry as anything, and when Jasper caught Clarke staring at him, he gave her an inquisitive look to which she just smiled and proposed another round.

"So Monty and I heard about this killer frat house party tomorrow night," Jasper announced. "Sounds like it's going to be insane. You ladies up for it?"

"It's a frat party, Jasper, the only insane thing in there is the frat boys themselves," Clarke pointed out.

"Don't be a party pooper, Clarke! You know you want to. Octavia does," Jasper nodded at the latter.

She looked up suddenly, "What?"

Jasper adopted a smug face and pretended to swoon, "_Lincoln _will be there."

Octavia showed signs of obvious weakness but then looked at Clarke and shrugged, "No, I'm staying in tomorrow night."

Clarke sighed. Octavia was mad and sometimes unintentionally rude but she was a truly loyal friend, and it showed when she offered to miss a wild party with Lincoln to keep an eye on her mourning friend. But Clarke realised that if her friends were all out, then she could be alone and think about her father in peace. She didn't want anyone to be there when she went over the last 365 days without him.

"No, Tavia," Clarke put on her best stern voice. "You're going to go with Jasper and Monty and be gross with Lincoln."

Octavia pulled a face at this idea, "I want to stay here. You know… if you need me."

Jasper and Monty exchanged looks of dawning realisation and began to blabber all at once.

"None of us will go!"

"Frat parties are too crazy for the likes of us anyway."

"_No_, you guys!" Clarke exclaimed loudly. "Look, I really appreciate the thought, but I'd really rather be alone. Honestly."

Octavia surveyed Clarke sadly, and Clarke was struck by how wise Octavia actually was as a result of all she'd been through, "You sure?"

"Positive." Clarke nodded and insisted they move on with the game.

* * *

><p>Clarke had possibly never been more wrong in her life.<p>

It was Friday night, and after a long day of receiving sympathetic and worried looks from her friends, Clarke was relieved when they had slammed the door shut to go to their insane frat party. However, half an hour later, she realised that it was too quiet. All she could hear was the ticking of the clock on Octavia's desk that seemed to beat as loud as a drum, but not quite loud enough to drown out the memories playing in her head of her father's last few weeks. After working herself into a frenzy, Clarke almost called her mom, but decided against it last second as it would just make Abby frantic herself and she felt she'd already been crueller to her mom than necessary by not going home.

But who else could she talk to? She'd sent three of her best friends off to a party, another one was AWOL, her childhood best friend was dead, and her mother was a class A worrier. The only person she wanted to talk to about her father's death was, well… her father. Life was cruel. Clarke bitterly thought she should get it tattooed on her forehead.

* * *

><p>An hour later Clarke was desperate. Nothing would distract her, not art, not school work, not music. She'd tried to sleep but every time she closed her eyes she could feel a weight threatening to crush her, her memories being played on loop. It had been three hundred and sixty five days since Jake Griffin died, why did the one year mark make such a difference?<p>

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes later Clarke opened Octavia's drinks drawer.<p>

Alone. Why did she think it was a good idea to be _alone_?

* * *

><p>As she dialled his number, Clarke didn't even think about how bizarre it was. She pressed 'call' because if anything, he'd understand.<p>

"_Hello?_"

Clarke almost sobbed.

"Bellamy?"

* * *

><p>There was an urgent rap of knuckles on the dorm door. Clarke, who had been sitting cross legged and agitated by her bed leapt up to answer it.<p>

Bellamy stood in the doorway, looking harassed and as though he'd leapt out of the shower, with his hair damp and tousled. Clarke was so relieved to see him she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his middle. She felt him tense but not a moment later his arms encased her, letting out a long exhalation of breath. His hand went to the back of her head and he stroked it aimlessly as Clarke closed her eyes and got lost in someone who wasn't herself. Neither of them knew how long they stood in the doorway, entrapped in one another, and neither of them noticed the people wondering by, giving them curious looks.

Finally Clarke extracted herself from his grip and stepped back, looking up into his face where his eyes were searching her own with concern. Clarke felt her heart flutter.

Now he was here, she had no idea what to say.

"I just…" She began helplessly.

"I know," He finished, and stepped into the room.

* * *

><p>"Do you want to talk about him?" Bellamy asked.<p>

They were both sitting on the floor, leaning against Clarke's bed, close but not touching. Clarke had thought she didn't want to talk about her dad, but sitting there with Bellamy, she felt her body begin to relax and her mind had stopped racing. Her nerves were still frenzied, but she had to admit that there was a good possibility that was for a new reason now.

"He was kind. And really smart, too. He could make anyone laugh. He would've done anything for my mom and me, tried to as well," Clarke took a deep breath as her dad's smiling face swam before her. "He was totally smitten with my mom. Growing up me and my best friend thought it was seriously gross, but of course it wasn't. The way he looked at her… god, it was like she hung the stars, and the moon, too."

Clarke felt the weight of Bellamy's gaze beside her, and her breathing grew shallower as when he turned his head he was so close his breath grazed her cheek every time he exhaled.

"I blame that for my naivety with Finn," Clarke said quickly, anxious to fill the heavy silence. Bellamy tensed ever so slightly. "My father set a too good example of men, and I thought it'd be the Finn Collins' of this world who would live up to that. Turns out I was completely wrong."

Clarke turned her head to look at him then, and she was right, he _was_ very close, the tips of their noses were a hair away from each other. Bellamy's eyes had to look down to meet her hers and the heat she found there made her swallow with difficulty. The air was so thick, she breathed in and out as though she were suffering from a minor panic attack, but all the air she breathed in was Bellamy's as he was so close. It was madness, really. When had she stopped tolerating Bellamy and actually want to be around him? Clarke cursed herself because that was a stupid question, a part of her had always wanted to be around him. He was annoying as hell, but he was also charming and made her smile, and the way he looked her and the way he cared about Octavia… it was all so Bellamy and Clarke had become addicted. But she was eighteen and he was twenty three. How could he possibly feel anything for her? She'd probably made it all up in her head. But he'd come tonight hadn't he? It took him all of twelve minutes to get here, she'd counted. Clarke never thought she'd rely on Bellamy Blake, but just his presence had made her feel at ease, also somehow simultaneously like a fish on mars.

When he spoke his voice seemed even lower than it usually was, "Must be something about Griffin women."

"What?" She breathed.

Clarke had come over all dizzy, and reached a hand out to steady herself but of course her hand found Bellamy's leg. She looked over at the offending arm in panic, wondering whether to retract it or if that would just make it awkward. Just as she looked up once more into Bellamy's eyes to gouge his reaction, she felt it instead as he pressed his lips against hers.

Clarke's eyes widened in shock, but then she felt stupid and closed them just as he had done. His pressure was gentle, which somewhat surprised Clarke, and also made her heart skip that Bellamy could be tender especially with her. In light of this, she responded to his lips and they kissed slowly and sweetly, Bellamy's calloused hand reaching up to hold the side of her face.

Clarke could barely fathom what was happening, only that it was and it felt good. She would worry about the fact that she had a pretence to uphold as disliking him later. She had called Bellamy for comfort, and he had delivered, because Clarke's broken heart felt almost whole as she and Bellamy kissed. He was intoxicating and Clarke couldn't imagine why he would want to kiss _her_, but he was and she decided to choose this moment as her first 'live in the moment'.

A moment later, Clarke felt her cheeks wet and realised a tear had escaped, and then another. She didn't think she'd felt this _good_ since Wells had died, and it seemed Bellamy unknowingly handing her the first step towards her old self was too much. Clarke could barely feel embarrassment for the tears when Bellamy kissed them away gently and then pulled back, but his hand remained at her face.

"I-" He began, his eyes regarding her seriously, pupils blown.

"If you're about to apologise, I swear to god, Blake," Clarke interrupted with shaky laughter.

Bellamy gave her the smallest of smiles that made Clarke grin at how actually adorable he could be.

"Hey," Clarke said barely above a whisper. "Thanks for saving me tonight."

Bellamy sighed, "You don't need saving, Princess."

There, Clarke put her finger on it. Bellamy didn't treat her like a damsel in distress, like she would break. And it was refreshing and she really did stand a little taller when he was around. Clarke smiled again, as though her mouth couldn't help it, as she realised that was what her dad was for her mom. She wasn't calling Bellamy the love of her life or anything, it was just nice to know that there _were_ men like Jake Griffin in the world, even if they weren't who she expected them to be.

Thinking of her mother and father made Clarke think of her mom sitting at home all alone probably, encased in silence and red wine. Bellamy noticed the fall of her face and withdrew his hand respectively.

"Clarke?"

Clarke sighed and leaned her head against the bed, "My mom. I can't believe I've left her alone tonight. I was so sure that I shouldn't go home, but she's my _mom_ and I'm the only person she really has left, and a lousy person I am for that role, too."

Bellamy furrowed his brow as Clarke put her hand to her forehead, silently cursing herself for being so blatantly selfish.

"Why don't you go now?" Bellamy asked as though the solution was obvious.

"I don't have my car still, I text Raven a couple weeks back saying she could keep it as long as she needed it because I felt so guilty, and I didn't need it."

Bellamy rolled his eyes slightly, "You let Raven keep your car for a month?"

"I did go on a date with her boyfriend."

"_Not _your fault."

"It wouldn't have been if you'd just _told_ me what you knew."

"Are we really going to do this now?" Bellamy asked incredulously.

Clarke sighed, she was just grasping at straws to let her impatience out, "No, we're not."

They were both lapsed into thoughtful silence and then-

"I'll drive you."

Clarke snapped her head up, "What?"

"I'll drive you," Bellamy repeated slowly as if she were thick.

Clarke frowned, "Are you mad, Bellamy? It's about two hours away and it's already late, and you have a job! Two jobs, actually! This is my own selfish fault."

"As luck would have it, I have the day off tomorrow. And I'm twenty three, Princess, I'm perfectly capable of driving in the dark," Bellamy argued, already lifting himself up off the floor.

Clarke scrambled up as well so that she could face him, "_Bellamy_, you don't have to do this for me."

Bellamy looked at Clarke as though this were neither here nor there, his eyebrows raised in a distinctly 'so what' fashion, "I know." He replied.

They stared at each other for a minute, waiting for the other to back down. But Clarke thought about spending two hours in a car with Bellamy and if they moved fast they'd reach her mom before midnight.

"Fine," Clarke relented, mustering up as much attitude in her tone as possible.

Bellamy smirked, "Two minutes to pack your precious belongings, Princess. I'll start the car."

Clarke would have thought he'd forgotten that they'd kissed not two minutes ago if he hadn't quickly but deliberately stroked a hand down her arm before he left.

Clarke haphazardly threw some clothes and her toiletries in a bag and texted Octavia before locking up their room.

**_Going home after all. With Bellamy. The fewer questions you ask, the more I'll love you. Clarke x_**

**A/N: SO. The first kiss oh my good god. I literally didn't plan on that happening until I got to the line and thought 'oh what the heck'. It was not hot n heavy but guys he was there to comfort her about her dad's death, and Bellamy's a sweetheart really, we all know that. This was only 7 pages on word processor, but I thought you'd appreciate a faster update! Started writing Chapter 8 already so that should be out faster too. **

**Thank you as always to fabulous reviewers: LuxeLisbon, SophieElizabeth630, FrejaBarnes, wantingandwaiting, BellaClara, PalmTreesAtMidnight, thunderatic, Leppy99, ELSchaaf, kc51102, sydcasy, 1234grace, fann, tvshowfanatic12345, twilightstargazer, lushatrocity and poopmcgo! I am so glad you liked Bellamy's POV.**

**Reviews are like oxygen for fanfic writers, something I didn't really understand until I wrote one myself. Now whatever stories I read I always review because I know how important they are. Tell me what you thought about Bellarke getting their kiss on? **

**You're all blessed, **

**Caragon x**


	8. I Don't Remember Eating Any Butterflies

**No, your eyes do not deceive you, this is a NEW CHAPTER. It's been something stupid like over a month, and I'm really sorry but I've had a really stressful few weeks and I've been ill, which you'd think would give me more spare time but it really didn't. Please accept my profuse apologies. **

**ENJOY THIS! I will try and be a lot speedier for you guys. **

Chapter Eight

**I Don't Remember Eating Any Butterflies**

_By caggiewrites_

Octavia pushed through a large crowd of acne infested guys by the keg.

"Have you seen Jasper Jordan?" She asked a random loner who shrugged. "Monty Green?" The guy shook his head.

Octavia sighed and butted in a conversation to her left, "Have you guys seen Jasper Jordan or Monty Green?"

Most of them shook their heads, one guy saying, "Who the hell are they?" in distaste.

Ignoring this, she proceeded down the hall, repeating her question to strangers she passed.

"I heard you're looking for that Jordan punk," a cold voice said.

Octavia turned around and frowned at the speaker: a tall guy with brown hair and a mean face.

"So what? You seen him?" Octavia squared her shoulders as the man smirked at her from the doorway he was leaning against.

"Not his girlfriend, are you?" Octavia already hated this guy, he was slimy and she didn't like the way he spoke about Jasper.

She folded her arms, "Are you going to say something useful, bad man?"

He laughed and sauntered closer to Octavia, so that she had to work hard not to take a step back.

"Feisty," He commented, eyebrows raised. Octavia snorted in disgust. He shrugged. "Yes, I've seen your buddy. Disappeared with a sweet girl not ten minutes ago. Maya, I think her name is… I don't know why they'd go someplace private just for her to reject him. Seems a little mean."

Octavia had heard enough, and span on her heel away from the awful man.

"The name's Murphy," He called after her.

"I don't care," Octavia deadpanned back and jogged up the stairs.

Just as she was about to feel uneasy about where she'd find Jasper and what he'd be doing, she bumped into him and the aforementioned Maya in the upstairs hall. She noted their held hands and shot Jasper a knowing look to which he shot back a smug expression.

"I've been tearing the house down for you and Monty!" Octavia said as a greeting. She turned to Maya, "Nice to meet you, I'm Octavia."

Maya smiled shyly, "Maya."

Octavia grinned at her as though they had their own inside joke already before turning to Jasper again, who addressed her with a suspicious look.

"Is something wrong?"

"Wrong?" Octavia burst into delighted laughter. "Are you kidding me, Jordan?"

"What, what?" Jasper asked impatiently, then narrowed his eyes. "You're not engaged, are you?"

Octavia abruptly stopped laughing in shock, "What, no! I've been dating Lincoln for like, a month, what the hell?"

Jasper shrugged innocently.

"_Anyway_," Octavia continued, beginning to squeal again. "_Guess_ who just text me to say she's going home and _guess_ who they're going home with?"

Jasper looked around as if for inspiration, "Going home… going home… oh! Clarke!" He frowned. "Should we have stayed with her? She practically gave Raven her car out of pity."

Octavia began to do a dance of her own invention to vent her excitement, "Guilt. It's a guilt car. But that's not important, it follows on to the next question."

Jasper pulled the same face as when he was doing a chemistry essay, "Well, I know it can't be Finn because you'd be beating him up as we speak."

"Correct," Octavia nodded, flashing Maya another grin, who smiled nervously back, looking thoroughly confused.

Jasper's eyes widened, and Octavia bounced on the balls of her feet, "No! You _are_ kidding!" She shook her head. "She's gone home with _Bellamy_?"

Octavia squealed in delight, earning some glances from other people in the hall, "Yes! Didn't I tell you? Didn't I _freaking tell you_?"

Jasper smiled despite himself, "God damn it. How much do I owe you?"

"Twenty bucks, sucker. You can bring it round tomorrow and keep your shoes on whilst you sit on Clarke's bed because she won't be there! Because she's gone home with Bellamy!"

Octavia began her victory dance again and even Maya laughed.

"I am confused, though, Tavia. You're so hell bent on this thing between Clarke and your brother, but you still haven't forgiven him for that thing in the bar?"

Octavia stopped dancing, "I know. So I rang him last night, when I knew he was on his shift so he wouldn't pick up and left him a message. He can come round skipping just as long as he apologises to Lincoln for being such a dick." Octavia shrugged. "I miss him like crazy, I just can't let him get away with that damn temper of his. It's not good for him."

Jasper clapped Octavia's shoulder, and her defeated look vanished, and she beamed once more.

"Speaking of Lincoln, I kind of ditched him after I got that text so see you later!" She turned to go down the stairs, where she winked at them, "Be safe, kids!"

Once she was out of sight of Jasper, Octavia bit her lip as she thought of Murphy who had deliberately been cruel about him. As she glanced him again on her way to find Lincoln, Octavia promised herself that the first thing she did when Clarke got home (after making endless jokes about Bellamy) she'd tackle this thing with Jasper.

* * *

><p>Clarke and Bellamy had been driving for a half hour, communicating with small smiles and comfortable chatter broken up by comfortable silence. Clarke noted that Bellamy's car was surprisingly clean for a guy, and smelled nice too. Clarke loved how easy it was to be in the car with him. Her nerves had been jittering for too long to be healthy, but it was all in the completely right way. During their lapse in conversation, Clarke would look out the dark window and imagine their thirty seconds in heaven she could never have foreseen. At least not on his part. Clarke had opened up to the fact that she was ridiculously attracted to Bellamy, but then again, she found it hard to imagine anyone who wasn't. He was tanned, and had huge arms as well as all that dark curly hair. Top that with his disarming smile that could charm a convent, and she figured she'd have to be a lesbian or dead not to feel something for him. But then she couldn't brush off (though she'd tried) the way his eyes twinkled and seemed to go on for<em>ever<em> in mysterious pits. She couldn't ignore how every time he touched her, even if by accident, it hit her like a bolt of lightning. Clarke tried to tell herself he was bad news and her best friend's brother, but she loved the way his laugh sounded, and how gravelly his voice was, and she would even admit in the dark when the world was asleep that he was seriously hot when he was angry.

Clarke blinked the images from her eyes as a song on the radio jerked her into reality. Clarke smiled fondly.

"Oh god, my dad _loved _The Beatles."

"Yeah?" Bellamy asked, looking over.

Clarke nodded, humming along to the verse. Bellamy reached over and twisted the volume dial up so that Lennon and McCartney filled up the whole car. Clarke smiled to herself at this small action.

"Sing up, Princess, I'm dying to hear you karaoke," Bellamy smirked.

"Never," Clarke said solemnly, but then laughed, making Bellamy's smirk turn into a grin of his own.

Clarke did continue to hum along, as Bellamy tapped a beat on the steering wheel.

* * *

><p>"So," Bellamy said a while later, snapping Clarke out of a reverie. "What are you going to tell your mom?"<p>

"What do you mean, tell her? Am I supposed to tell her something?"

"Well, when you turn up in the dead of night, what are you going to say?"

Clarke frowned at Bellamy, which he missed as he looked at the road.

"I don't think I'll need to say anything. She'll understand, she's like that," Clarke said, faintly smiling sadly as she thought about her mother.

"Oh, right. I'm not exactly well versed in parents," Bellamy replied, his face unchanging.

Clarke eyed him worriedly, wondering if and how he could have interrupted her comment as a snub.

"What?" He said almost irritably.

Clarke laced her fingers together, "I'm…I'm sorry about your parents."

Bellamy sniffed. "Don't be."

Clarke looked away, "Okay."

Clarke wasn't going to pretend to understand Bellamy's past and the things he went through. They didn't really know each other that well. But if she did know one thing, it was that Bellamy wasn't one for wearing his heart on his sleeve, but that didn't mean he felt any less than other people. She thought he actually felt more.

Just before the silence could turn awkward, Clarke reached over and her fingers ghosted over Bellamy's hand on the steering wheel. She hoped he'd understand. When she withdrew her hand, Bellamy was looking at her, definitely perplexed and maybe something else. Clarke was struck by how sweet his surprise was. He _had _kissed her earlier. She smiled at him, just a small curve of her lips upward. His lips twitched as if they wanted to reciprocate.

"Eyes on the road, Blake."

He snorted and she grinned to herself, before leaning her head on the window. Clarke marvelled in the situation she was in. Being driven to her mom's house by Bellamy Blake after he kissed her! Clarke wanted to laugh at the girl she was at the beginning of the semester who rolled her eyes at the mere mention of his name. Alright, so she still did that, but it was somehow different now. He was infuriating and cocky, gorgeous and charming, and of course a good five years her senior. And he had kissed Clarke, the eighteen year old roommate of his baby sister. If it should have been weird, Bellamy and Clarke had managed to subconsciously diffuse that weirdness by being themselves. When they weren't arguing or sighing exasperatedly at the other, the truth is that they got on fairly well.

As for the kiss, Clarke had trouble not thinking about it when she was in such close proximity to him. Bellamy Blake kissed her and he made it seem as though it was ordinary behaviour. It baffled Clarke, but also made her grateful all of these strange events were with Bellamy – and then she got unnerved all over again. Clarke snuck a glance at him, but quickly looked away. Yes, he was gorgeous. And horrible. And sort of brilliant. There was a whole plethora of possibilities for him kissing her, such as pity, or he was using her because she was vulnerable and eighteen. Clarke would usually label these very motives on guys like Bellamy, but there was something about the Blakes that made it very hard _not_ to trust them.

Smiling herself, Clarke closed her eyes.

* * *

><p>"Your house is fucking huge, Princess."<p>

Clarke and Bellamy had finally pulled up outside Clarke's home, yet still sat in the motionless car.

"Right," Clarke rolled her eyes.

Bellamy craned his neck to get a better view of her home, "You know what? 'House' doesn't cover it." He shot a grin at her. "I must be a seer because I knew you were a Princess and I didn't even have to see your castle."

"Is that an insult or a cheesy line?" Clarke raised her eyebrows at him.

"Whichever you want it to be, Princess," Clarke rolled her eyes again but couldn't help but laugh at his smug face. He chucked softly, and their laughs petered out together.

They were left just looking at each other, the ghosts of smiles on their faces.

"I owe you big time for this," Clarke broke the silence, gesturing at his car. "You don't know how much it means that you helped me out."

Bellamy shrugged, "I have an idea."

"Well, triple that."

Bellamy nodded, "Okay, Princess. Now it's time to get in there and be with your mom."

Clarke took a moment to reply, too busy watching his mouth, "Um, I – yeah – right. My mom." She stammered, not moving.

"Princess," Bellamy raised an eyebrow. "Today would be good. I need to high tail it back."

Clarke frowned, "Back? Are you insane? You can't drive back _now_ it's the middle of the night!"

"I'm a grown man."

"I'm aware."

"I've done worse journeys."

"Would you like a medal?"

"What – Princess, do you have a point?" Bellamy threw his hands up.

Clarke nodded determinedly, but was shocked she'd have to say it aloud. She assumed that he would assume. Bellamy raised his eyebrows even further, and Clarke wanted to make a joke about losing them in his hair.

"W – yes I have a point. You, uh, you can – will – obviously, um… stay here." Clarke was glad it was dark, as she could feel her cheeks flaming furiously.

Bellamy's face softened.

"I don't want to intrude, Clarke." He said in a low voice.

"You won't be!" She looked down, fiddling with the hem of her sleeves.

"Princess," Bellamy said, and Clarke looked up because his tone had radically changed to a very playful one. A smirk played on his mouth. "You better get out the car without me or I'll have to throw you out and I've never been very delicate."

Clarke wondered at how fast his moods changed. She folded her arms. "I'm not leaving this car without you, Bellamy."

"Yes, you will."

"No, I won't." Clarke pointed her nose to the air, locking her car door for good measure.

"Princess, if you don't do as I say very soon… I'll have to kiss you again."

The air turned thick. He'd addressed that they had kissed. It suddenly seemed very real. Clarke's head snapped toward him.

"Really?" She attempted in a strong voice. Bellamy's face confirmed it hadn't worked.

He leaned forward, and Clarke began trying to control her breathing.

"All those hours cooped up in a car with you looking the way you look and talking the way you talk. I _would _like a medal for controlling myself."

Clarke wondered if Bellamy knew CPR because there was a good chance she wouldn't make it through this encounter. His face got ever closer to hers, and she felt his hand rest on the space right next to her leg. Clarke swallowed.

"I'm still not leaving," Clarke whispered.

"No," Bellamy's voice had return to its impossibly low tone. "You're not."

Clarke felt the pull of him, and found herself leaning toward him. Bellamy's other hand moved to her waist where it burned. Clarke buzzed with anticipation, she _wanted _to kiss him. His lips brushed hers antagonisingly slow. Her eyes fluttered closed as their breath mixed.

TAP TAP TAP.

Jarred out of their bubble, Clarke's head whipped around to find the source of the noise. Her eyes widened. Abby Griffin, knocking on the car window.

"Oh my god," Clarke said frantically, reaching for the button to pull the window down.

Bellamy was chuckling like the ass he was, but his hand hadn't left her waist and Clarke desperately tried to ignore its warmth.

The open window revealed freezing air and Abby Griffin in a nightgown and coat. Her face was filled with such joy it even made Clarke smile.

"Clarke! It _is _you!" Abby said with delight, almost jumping up and down.

"Of course it is, mom, I realised I couldn't leave you alone right now. Even if it's technically not the day anymore." Clarke babbled.

Abby's eyes glistened with tears, "Oh Clarke, I don't care. I'm just glad you're here. Come on! Come in!"

"Oh, right," Clarke turned her head to look at Bellamy, at which point Abby saw him too.

Clarke's mothers eyes widened in surprise, "Oh, I'm sorry! You should have told me you were bringing your young man, Clarke." Clarke tried to stammer out that he was not her 'young man' but Abby had already stuck her hand forcefully through the window for a handshake.

Bellamy shot Clarke a smirk before shaking Abby's hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Griffin. I'm Bellamy Blake."

Abby smiled like a school girl and Clarke wanted to scream.

"Ooookay!" Clarke gestured for her mom to move out of the way and opened the car door.

"Come in, both of you! Do you have any luggage?" Abby was backing towards the house.

Clarke walked round to Bellamy's trunk.

"I do, but Bellamy thinks he's not staying," Clarke told her mother.

Abby put her hands on her hips, going into mother-mode, "Well, that is absurd. You'll stay with us tonight, it is just not safe to drive when you're tired!"

Abby beckoned both of them to follow and marched to the house.

Clarke slammed the trunk shut after retrieving her bag. She met Bellamy as he jumped out the car, looking defeated.

Clarke gave him a smug smile he so often delivered to her, "You just don't argue with Griffin women."

Bellamy rolled his eyes dramatically and began muttering under his breath about stubborn women and mansions before he locked up his car and followed Clarke and Abby to the house.

* * *

><p>Clarke stayed up until late with her mother, talking about life and of course, Jake. Bellamy had dozed off on the couch some way in and when the Griffin women realised, decided to call it a day.<p>

"He must like you a lot to drive all the way over here," Abby whispered to Clarke.

Clarke looked at sleeping Bellamy, and how he seemed a lot younger when he was asleep, all the lines and worries smoothed from his face.

"He's Octavia's brother. He's… I… we're…" Clarke stumbled for the right words.

Abby smiled at Clarke knowingly and comforting, "I get it."

Clarke smiled at her mom, suddenly filled with how much she had missed her.

"But he is still twenty three years old, Clarke, so forgive me for putting him in one of the spare rooms tonight," Abby continued, back in mom mode.

Clarke felt relieved, not sure how she would have dealt with Bellamy in her bed, "Sure, mom."

They woke Bellamy who immediately jumped up with apologies, making Clarke smirk and Abby gush. After showing him to a spare room, Abby bid the two of them goodnight.

Bellamy leaned against the door frame, "So, Princess, how many boys have had the pleasure of sleeping in this room before me?"

Clarke snorted, "None. I wasn't a recluse in high school, I just wasn't one for dates and small talk, you know?"

Bellamy nodded.

"Unless you count my godmother's son who's been obsessing over me since the 7th grade."

Bellamy raised his eyebrows, "Obsessing? Watch your head or it won't fit through the door, Princess."

Clarke slapped Bellamy on the arm, "I'm serious! We used to play together as kids, me, Wells and Myles – that's his name – but something happened when we hit puberty." Clarke shuddered. "He got creepy. Can't spend a minute alone with him now."

Bellamy frowned, "You are serious."

She nodded, "There's a photo of him on the dresser, see? In between Wells and me."

Bellamy went towards the frame on the dresser of the three kids and smiled, Clarke followed him in.

"It pains me to say you were quite adorable, Princess," Bellamy picked up the photo.

Clarke snorted, "Thanks for the use of the past tense."

Bellamy pointed at the grinning boy to the left of Myles, "This is Wells?"

Clarke let out a long breath, "That's him." She folded her arms. "This is why I can't don't feel like coming back here. These rooms are filled with my dad and with Wells. They remind me of the happy memories but it's all sort of erased when you remember they're gone."

Clarke turned away from the photo, and was surprised to feel Bellamy's light touch on her arm. She turned back to smile sadly at him before registering that they were indeed alone in a room. She needed to leave, before she did something disastrous that would lead to that second kiss. Which she didn't want. Much.

"Goodnight, Bellamy."

"Night, Princess." Bellamy answered, watching her as she shut the door before looking at the little girl in the picture who was still ghosted on Clarke's face.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: SO, there it is. I actually wrote this twice, but deleted the first version because it wasn't really going anywhere and gave me writers block. Please give me your opinions on whether their relationship is moving too fast or too slow or whatever, I would love to hear your input. **

**REMEMBER to watch The 100 Season 2 finale tomorrow night! There's going to be a really good Bellarke moment apparently eeeeek. **

**PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS. You've been consistently fab with this and keep it up, it keeps me writing and makes me feel guilty when I don't update. Endless thanks to Leppy99, BellaClara, sydcasy, SophieElizabeth630, Jeanie205, FrejaBarnes, tvshowfanatic12345, wiseowl19, red08, wantingandwaiting, kiwi pineapple, PalmTreesAtMidnight, thunderatic, 1234grace, marffreader, BTR14, tl431, Pandora, fann, twilightstargazer, looking-for-release, takealeapoffaith, jess, The High Warlock, AvengerGirl17 and lily-beth99. I DO read all of them and appreciate them so much. Love that I have regulars, you know who you are, I adore you. If you have specific questions you'd like me to actually answer, it's probably best to message me!**

**PS. THIS STORY HAS OVER 200 FOLLOWERS OMG. YOU ARE SO AMAZING. **

**Love always, **

**Caragon x**


	9. We're Just Getting Started

**Oh yeah! Two updates in one week. You love me.  
>I was encouraged to write this chapter sooner because the season 2 finale ripped my heart out, and we all deserve some happy Bellarke.<strong>

Chapter Nine

**We're Just Getting Started**

_By caggiewrites_

It took Clarke a while to remember why she was facing the pastel colours of her room at home when she woke up the next morning. But then she remembered, and that Bellamy was sleeping just down the hall in the old guest room Thelonius Jaha would sleep in when he stayed. Thelonius would have disliked Bellamy, and Wells would have told him to stop being such a snob, to which his father would have responded with a sharp, "_Wells_!". But then Clarke and Wells would exchange knowing smiles and it didn't matter.

With a sigh, Clarke rolled over rubbing her eyes to look at the framed photo of herself on Wells' shoulders in Wells' back yard, about 2.5 seconds from them both falling over and collapsing into laughter. Next to that simple frame was another jewelled one which Octavia had sent her just days after they had first met: It was a picture of the two of them on that sunny day of their first meeting. Octavia had insisted they get a photo together, and had her arms encircling Clarke's neck, heads pressed together, both grinning at the camera which Clarke held with one hand. Two very different best friends, Clarke mused, yet both equally important.

Clarke knew what the third frame was, and felt ashamed that she still kept it face down on the dresser. Someday, she thought.

As Clarke lay flat on her back, looking up at the old glow in the dark stars stuck on her ceiling, she heard voices from downstairs: a man and a woman's. Immediately panicked that it was Bellamy and her mother alone having an actual conversation, Clarke threw off the covers and made her way downstairs. Racing into the kitchen, Clarke was met only with her mother at the stove.

"Clarke!" Abby said in surprise. "Are you okay? You look a bit frazzled."

Clarke tried to control her breathing, rolling her eyes, "Thanks, mom." She slid onto a breakfast bar stool.

"It's not even ten o'clock! College has really changed you, huh?" Abby smiled, throwing some bacon into a pan.

"Oh yeah, I just love mornings now," Clarke said sarcastically, resting her head on her chin. Abby laughed, and it was a nice sound. "Hey, mom?"

"Mm?"

"Who were you just talking to? I heard a man's voice-"

Abby span around, "Clarke, I want you to be _nice _and remember that they came to comfort me, I mean I would have told you last night but you were so late and I was just so happy to see you."

"Mom, what are you talking about?" Clarke asked confused, and Abby would have replied if weren't for a new presence in the kitchen.

"Marcus?" Clarke dropped her hand.

Her brain seemed like it was working too slowly, that if her mom's old friend Marcus Kane was here then that must mean that his son was here too. No sooner had she thought it, he followed his father through the door.

"And Myles," Clarke's annoyance must have been obvious on her face.

"Clarke," Abby said quietly but sharply.

Clarke shot her mother a look before plastering a smile on her face, "Marcus and Myles! Well, obviously. Hello, hello."

"As I live and breathe, you _are_ here!" Marcus immediately crossed round the kitchen island and hugged Clarke, who returned it somewhat awkwardly.

Luckily, Marcus turned to hand Abby some milk and eggs so she could subtly push away an eager Myles by patting him on the back as he went for a hug. He grinned nonetheless and settled in the seat beside her. Clarke tried not to inch away.

Marcus turned back, "I almost didn't believe your mother, Clarke, we haven't seen you since… well it must have been in May sometime for Abby's birthday!"

"Wow, has it been that long?" Clarke attempted to sound shocked. Truth be told, she made up excuses whenever she picked up that Marcus and his son were swinging by.

"Clarke's been very busy lately, right, honey?" Abby shot Clarke almost an eye roll over Marcus' shoulder.

Marcus nodded, "Of course, you will have to tell us _all _about life at college later, Clarke."

Clarke assured him she would, before he turned to help Abby prepare breakfast and they chatted together. Clarke cleared her throat awkwardly, as she felt Myles look at her. She had no problem with his father, he was mostly fine and one of her mom's oldest friends, but she was sure that Myles took after his own mother who was… for lack of a better word, crazy. Myles' mom was extremely intense, probably one of the (many) reasons Marcus divorced her, and Clarke assumed that she hadn't noticed it when she was a child, but Myles had adopted the same quality. His enthusiasm for everything Clarke seemed a lot worse when Clarke didn't have Wells around to jokingly but 100% seriously tell Myles to quit being a creep.

"So…" Clarke ventured, "Not at college, Myles?"

"No, I'm helping my dad out this year. It's been great so far," Myles said quickly.

"Cool, cool," Clarke nodded, avoiding his eye.

A pause, and then, "I'm sorry about your dad, Clarke, he was so cool, I can't believe it's been a year already."

Clarke looked at Myles then, wondering how he could make something intended to be comforting sound so energized. He smiled when she caught his eye so she darted her gaze away.

"Um, yeah. Thanks, Myles."

She thought he'd leave her alone, but next thing she knew his hand had hastily grabbed hers, possibly he hoped to comfort her, but Clarke knew Myles, and snatched her hand away.

"Um, no, Myles, I'm sorry. We talked about this, remember?"

She didn't check to see his crestfallen face but panicked as she thought of different excuses to escape the room.

But just then Bellamy walked through the kitchen door, looking sweaty and alive in shorts and a t-shirt with a large sweat patch covering the top of his chest. Of course he'd been running. God knows where he got the clothes, Clarke thought, and God knows how he looked so _good_ whilst sweating.

"Bellamy!" Clarke said at the same as her mother. His eyes sought Clarke's before he nodded a 'good morning' to Abby. His eyes returned to Clarke's and she desperately tried to communicate with her own. He frowned as she indicated Myles with her head.

"You two boys haven't met Bellamy yet!" Abby threw her hands up.

Clarke continued to attempt to communicate with Bellamy, resorting to furiously mouthing '_Myles!'_ and jabbing her head backwards. Finally his eyes seemed to clear and he appraised Myles with a judging look. Clarke shot him a pleading look. He was her one shot out of here. Clarke hoped she'd be smart and ask to speak to her urgently or that they needed to speed home because Octavia was having surgery. They were definitely not her improvised excuses…

"Marcus, Myles, this is Bellamy Blake, Clarke's-"

Abby broke off in that moment because Bellamy had begun striding purposefully across the kitchen towards Clarke, and when he reached her, took her chin in one hand and bent down to press his lips to hers. Clarke was just as shocked as the onlookers, but couldn't help but relax at Bellamy's warm mouth on hers. His touch on her chin was gentle, and Clarke couldn't resist bringing up her hand to place it on the back of Bellamy's neck, pushing her fingers through the curled tendrils at the ends of his hair. She felt his lips curve up and felt hers do the same against her will. He pulled away, smirking.

"Good morning, Princess."

Bellamy sat down on the stool the other side of her, the smirk still on his face. Clarke's eyes followed him, her mouth slightly open.

"I haven't brushed my teeth yet," She said stupidly.

Bellamy looked over flashing her a smile and shrugging. _I don't mind_, it said.

"As I was saying, this is Bellamy Blake, Clarke's… boyfriend," Clarke looked up at her mother in alarm and was met with a wide eyed expression, but she also looked like she wanted to laugh.

Marcus reached over the counter to shake his hand, "Pleasure to meet you, Bellamy."

"Likewise." Bellamy grinned, taking his hand.

Marcus smiled, before looking over at his son, "Myles?"

Clarke peeked over her shoulder at Myles who looked dumbstruck, and for the first time in a long time wasn't staring Clarke in the eyes. He nodded at Bellamy who nodded back.

* * *

><p>Breakfast passed without further incident, not counting Bellamy slinging his arm over the back of Clarke's chair halfway through and absently tracing circles on her back, which Clarke definitely did count.<p>

Afterwards, she practically dragged him upstairs to her room, not saying a word until the door was shut.

"Whoa, Princess, we haven't even been on a date yet," Bellamy wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh, shut up." Clarke pressed her ear against the door to check nobody had followed them up.

Certain they were alone, she turned on him.

"You kissed me!" Clarke stated, hands on her hips.

"Guilty."

"You keep doing that!"

"I was helping you out!"

"That's why you kissed me?"

"No. Definitely not the first time."

"Okay."

Bellamy watched her face, gouging her reaction. She sat down on the bed.

"Thank you. Ugh, again. You're meant to be an ass," Clarke whined.

"Meant to be?" Bellamy sat down beside her.

"Sorry, having trouble figuring you out," Clarke muttered.

Bellamy chuckled, "Me, too."

Clarke sighed, "They all think we're dating now. Did you think that far ahead?"

"We look good," Bellamy smirked and Clarke tried not to blush. "It was the first thing I thought of. What's the best way to get a guy to stop pursuing a girl? Make her taken."

Clarke snorted, "I've never seen Myles _not _look like he's hyped on energy drinks before."

"He's crazy about you, huh?" Bellamy said, and Clarke frowned at his tone. It was almost bitter.

"Um, crazy alright."

"Well, if he makes you uncomfortable, you can count on me," Bellamy said gently.

"Are you at my beck and call, _boyfriend_?" Clarke smirked.

Bellamy rolled his eyes, "The Princess is demanding, I can't say I'm surprised."

Clarke laughed, "Alright, go and shower, you're covered in sweat. I can't stand to be near you."

"You didn't even brush your teeth," Bellamy said in mock disgust.

Clarke pulled a face, "Where did you even get those _clothes_? Tell the truth, are you a part time thief?"

Bellamy stood up, "Not anymore." Clarke bit her lip but Bellamy winked at her. "I keep spare clothes in my trunk all the time. Old habits die hard. There was a time I needed to."

Clarke nodded, getting up to push him towards the door, "You're still sweaty."

"You love it."

"Not."

Bellamy opened his mouth to retort as there came a knock at the door. They exchanged a panicked glance and Clarke used her hold of Bellamy's shirt to pull her to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. The door opened just as Bellamy's arms came rest around her shoulders.

It was Abby. "Oh!" She said, pretending to cover her eyes. "Don't worry, I just want a word with Clarke."

"Mom!" Clarke pretended to seem embarrassed and she felt Bellamy's chest vibrate as he chuckled and squeezed her shoulders. Clarke took a deep breath.

Abby smiled, "It won't take long, I swear. Then you can go back to all that hugging and kissing only on the lips." Clarke groaned, burying her head in Bellamy's chest. Bellamy may be her fake boyfriend at the moment, but there was still something very un-fake underneath the bravado.

Bellamy laughed, "Understood. I was just going to take a shower."

"Oh, sure. Down the hall to the left. There should be everything you need already there." Abby smiled, pretending to take a particular interest in Clarke's perfume bottle on the side to give them privacy.

Clarke looked up at Bellamy, shaking her head in real embarrassment. He smirked and leaned down to kiss her forehead before pulling out of her arms, his fingers trailing everywhere. Clarke watched him go, trying to work out the ratio of fakery and real feeling in their encounters.

Abby caught her glance, "He _is _your boyfriend then?" She said sceptically.

Clarke frowned, "Why'd you say it like that?"

"Oh, Clarke, I know that you and Myles haven't gotten along over the past few years but you wouldn't use Bellamy to hurt him would you?"

"Mom!" Clarke looked scandalized, but that was exactly what she was doing. The idea that her mom would automatically assume that when it had actually been Bellamy's idea still hurt, and Clarke made a split second decision. "That is absurd. I can't bring a boy home without ulterior motives?"

Abby sighed, shaking her head, "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm happy you've found somebody."

"Thanks," Clarke said guiltily, sitting on the bed again. "What did you want?"

Abby sat down next to her, turning her body to face Clarke, "I am proposing an idea that you don't shoot down immediately, please."

"Go on."

"I thought we could spend the day at your father's favourite fishing lake! In commemoration, you know, he did love it there."

"Mom…"

"I know, I know, you don't like this house, Clarke," Abby said gently.

Clarke looked down, caught off guard that her mother knew.

"But you can't run, honey."

"Bellamy's driving me home I can't expect him to stay here all day," Clarke tried.

"I'll drive you! I'll rearrange some shifts. I don't mind, Clarke, it's worth it to spend the day with you at this time."

Clarke groaned, her mother once again successfully using the guilt card, "Oh, jeez, fine. You get your family day. But _no _Kanes!"

Abby went silent. Clarke's mouth dropped open.

"You already invited them, didn't you? Well, no _way_ am I spending the day being courted by Myles Kane."

"Clarke, I gave you _life_."

Clarke gave her mother a disbelieving look, and fell back on the bed, moaning. Knowing she'd won, Abby did a small dance out of the room.

* * *

><p>Bellamy caught up with Clarke as she sat on the couch flipping through a magazine, half listening to her mother and Marcus debate about which routes to take to the lake. She was fully showered and dressed, wearing some old blue jeans and a checked flannel button up with her hair in a loose side braid. The lake could get pretty mucky after all. She was alerted of his presence as Abby greeted him, asking if his shower was okay. She tried her best not to rearrange herself as he neared her, so that she didn't look like she was making an effort. The shower had given her some serious thinking time, and though Bellamy was clearly interested in kissing her, the whole relationship façade was a favour to Clarke and a bit of a laugh for him. Though she didn't want to ruin the lie she'd told her mother, Clarke didn't want to get <em>too <em>invested in a twenty three year old who could just be bad news to her and her heart. It was hard though, when he flopped on the couch beside her so that he was facing her and snaked an arm across her stomach.

"Hello, girlfriend of mine," He said into her neck.

"What guy constantly calls his girlfriend 'girlfriend'?" She hissed back.

"Princess it is," He replied, chuckling.

"I walked into that one," She said, flipping a page.

Bellamy seemed content to sit there beside her, absently humming. Clarke continued to flip pages but her eyes weren't reading.

"You're a very fast reader," He teased.

"I was born with it," Clarke said smartly, but she closed the magazine. "Are you going to ask me what happens now?"

"What happens now, Princess?" Bellamy said in mockingly obedient tone.

"My mom wants me to go to this old fishing lake my dad loved all day," Clarke began.

"Great."

"Oh, no, you can go home. I told my mom you couldn't stay so she offered to drive me home."

Bellamy sat up, looking at Clarke properly, "You told your mom I couldn't stay?"

Clarke looked sideways at him, "Yeah, you don't want to go to a fishing lake. I'm still not entirely sure why I'm going."

"Is Myles going?" Bellamy asked as the boy in question entered the room, giving the couple cuddled on the couch a once over.

"Yes," Clarke said slowly. "But maybe now that he thinks I _have _a boyfriend, you don't need to be there."

Bellamy pulled away, "What you're really saying is, you don't want me there. Did I do something?"

"No!" Clarke said loudly, earning her curious looks from the others. She continued in a hushed tone, "I just think its best we're not in this whole… dynamic… for much longer."

Bellamy stood up suddenly, grabbing Clarke's hand and pulling her out of the room, as she flashed a quick smile at her mother who looked a little alarmed.

Once in the hallway, Clarke closed the door behind them, "Bellamy, what-"

Bellamy pushed her against the wall and enveloped her mouth with his before she could say another word. Clarke's gasp died in Bellamy's mouth, as the shock of the intensity wore off. They had kissed twice before, and they were both sweet, innocent kisses. Now though, it was Bellamy trying to tell her something, and Clarke was happy to reciprocate, as she was only human after all. Their lips attacked each other, Clarke's arms encircled around his neck, pulling him ever closer, and Bellamy's hands planted firmly either side of her neck, thumbs stroking her cheeks. Clarke had been kissed before, but they had all been dumb high school boys who clumsily navigated her mouth and body. Kissing Bellamy was every girls' fantasy and more.

Bellamy drove Clarke crazy with his kisses, but she felt a little smug when she caught his lower lip between her teeth and pulled gently at it, causing a low grunt to sound from his throat. His hands moved from her face to her hips, pinning her to the wall. His tongue darted out across her lower lip and she opened her mouth to him, all worries gone. The introduction of their tongues meeting and clashing together made the kiss more hot and heavy, and Clarke couldn't stop the groan that sounded from her mouth. She froze, hands in his hair. But Bellamy just chuckled and left her lips to trace kisses along her neck. She sighed, closing her eyes, just as the door clicked open.

Clarke couldn't bear the thought of facing whoever was standing there, so she buried her head and hands in Bellamy's chest, looking away.

"How are you doing, Myles?" Bellamy said for her, his voice still bearing traces of huskiness, and Clarke had to bite her tongue. His arm encircled her waist.

"I was just…" Clarke heard Myles stammer, before the shuffling of footsteps running upstairs.

Clarke burst into shaky laughter, leaning her head back against the wall. Bellamy was smiling bemusedly at her, and his other arm joined the first around her waist. She placed her hands on his chest, her laughter dying out.

"That was very irresponsible of you, Blake," Clarke whispered.

"I didn't know how else to make you understand," Bellamy replied, not an ounce of regret in his voice.

Clarke nodded, her fears flooding back to her, "And I don't know what you want from me. Whether this is just so you can make out with someone or whether you actually want to kiss _me_. I know I'm only eighteen, and I didn't want to confuse this fake relationship with whatever real one we have."

"Hey, I only care that you're eighteen if _you_ care that you're eighteen," Bellamy said gently. "I want to kiss _you_, Clarke, pretty much every time we're together."

Clarke looked up at him with a defeated face, "You're Bellamy Blake! I know how girls look at you."

Bellamy rolled his eyes, "But do you see how _I _look at _you_?"

"Like you're annoyed, mostly," Clarke attempted at humour, seeing his blown pupils.

"That's partly because you're annoying," Bellamy smirked. "But mostly because you're right: I like girls."

Clarke tensed.

"Never before have I liked the name, the smile, the sharp tongue, the roll of the eyes, the intelligence. I'm as new to this as you are, I didn't know how to go about it, and so I was rude. I didn't expect you to be ruder and therefore leave me with just the option of letting myself like you."

Clarke tried to swallow her smile, but it wasn't working, "You have feelings for me. You're not confused because we're fake dating?"

"Was that kiss a show for anyone? Close your mouth, Myles doesn't count that was an accident."

Clarke let herself laugh loudly and Bellamy couldn't help but laugh with her. She pulled at his belt loops, and Bellamy bent his head down for one sound, promising kiss.

They pulled apart, but only just.

"Fancy going fishing?" Clarke grinned.

* * *

><p>"<em>Clarke Griffin! I was starting to believe you were dead, I've been calling you all morning!<em>" Octavia's voice sailed down the phone as soon as she picked up.

Clarke was stood a distance away from their group at the lake, watching Marcus miserably fail at attaching bait to the end of his fishing rod

"Hello to you, too. I would have called sooner, but my house has really terrible reception."

"_Where are you now?_"

"An old fishing lake my dad used to love."

"_Is Bellamy still with you?_"

Clarke rolled her eyes, that hadn't taken long, "Yes."

"_Fishing?_"

"I've yet to see him catch anything, but yes."

"_Well, well. You've really got him on a leash, haven't you? Are you going to give me all the details about last night now or later?" _Clarke heard a "_now!"_ from the background. "_Calm down, Jas." _

"Details?" Clarke asked innocently. She had no idea whether to tell the others about her and Bellamy. They'd just make a huge fuss, and _they _had no clue what it was yet.

"_ 'Details'?" _Mocked Octavia. "_We're not that stupid, Clarke." _

"Debatable. I needed a lift home, had no other option, Bellamy did me a favour." Clarke hoped her voice didn't sound too high.

"_Riiiight_. _And now you're playing happy families at the lake?" _

Clarke looked up then, to find Bellamy watching her. He smirked when he saw her and she was glad he didn't see her blush as she raised her eyebrows and turned away.

"You know, Octavia, you could ask him all of this yourself if you would just talk to him already."

"_Yeah, yeah. As soon as he apologises to Lincoln! Would you tell him to hurry up? I miss him." _

"Stubborn ass Blakes. I'm on it."

"_Oh, I'm sure._"

"Weird."

"_Accurate._"

The two girls chatted for a while, Octavia blabbering on about Lincoln and some girl Jasper met at the party, before she stopped suddenly mid-sentence.

"Octavia?" Clarke prompted.

"_You'll never guess who I just saw pulling in the parking lot in your car._"

Clarke let a breath out she didn't know she had been holding, "Finally."

"_Oh, yes. Raven's back._"

Clarke assured Octavia her and Bellamy would be back tomorrow before she hung up. Clarke was looking forward to seeing Raven again and finally getting the Finn debacle behind them. Clarke hoped with all her heart that Raven had ditched Finn, and that she would be Clarke's friend again. Clarke missed her straight way of talking, and how she'd bang on their dorm room door when she returned from her morning run as Octavia and Clarke's alarm.

Clarke sat down next to Bellamy, who immediately slung his arm around her shoulders, and they all laughed as Marcus caught his first fish and actually jumped up in glee. Her father's presence did not go unnoticed as daytime turned to dusk and Clarke and Abby stayed behind for an extra five minutes to watch the sunset where Jake Griffin would have stood, exchanging stories about him. Clarke didn't know it would feel good to talk about him with her mother, and that maybe the house didn't have to haunt her anymore.

She climbed in the passenger seat of Bellamy's car and made him laugh with mad requests of where their first date should be when he brought it up all the way back to her mother's house. Clarke knew that Bellamy being with her was part of the reason she found it easier to be at home, and wasn't foolish enough to reject that.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I love myself for giving this to you really soon. It's a good distraction for me when everything in my life is so stressed right now, just 3 months til the most important exams of my life! Even worse, a 7 month hiatus til season 3 so buckle up guys, we need each other. Ratings for the season finale actually /dropped/ so remember to keep promoting the 100 and it's never too early to start campaigning for season 4!**

**ALSO, experienced writers, what does it mean when you upload chapters and it says they have '90 days' left. What happens at the end of 90 days? Chapter 1 only has 28 days left and I have no idea what happens to it then. Help would be much appreciated, please message me! **

**THANK YOU to my ace reviewers, thunderatic, BTR14, ELSchaaf, PalmTreesAtMidnight, takealeapoffaith, Leppy99, Snyd95037, lily-beth99, ThatFFTho, FrejaBarnes, LindsML, reignthe100101, the100tv, red08, 1234grace, Emma and all of the guests too! I got over 100 reviews now that makes me freaking ecstatic. Keep reviewing and letting me know your thoughts it's so important to me and this story! **

**Be brilliant, **

**Caragon x**


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